Sucky Spring Break

So, basically this has been the worst Spring Break ever.

My car rolled to a grinding halt on the highway on Monday. Some kind of rod shot through the oil pan, resulting in all my oil pouring out all over the highway. Then a valve blew, and my car started smoking and me, of course, freaking out. I had to sit on the road in the cold for forty-five minutes waiting for a tow truck and my dad to come get me.

When we finally towed my car, she was declared dead. I was crushed.

Then on Tuesday, my grandpa took a turn for the worst. He was in really bad shape and had another clot in his arm. I had just visited with him on Saturday, and he seemed sickly, but not on death's door. He knew who I was, and even talked for a little while.

I went to visit him on Wednesday, and it was really bad. He seemed so sick and frail. He couldn't see anything, and was always looking past everyone when he did open his eyes. It was weird seeing how deteriorated he was. His eyes, which were normally brown, had turned almost all blue, and he was having little jerking spasms in his arms and legs. He couldn't talk at all, and mostly just moaned while he breathed.

I desperately wanted him to just snap out of it, but I knew he wouldn't. I finally broke down and cried. He was sort of looking at me though, so I turned my head into Sharon's shoulder. I wasn't sure if he couldn't or could tell that I was upset. I tried to smile every time he seemed like he was focusing, but it was so hard. I love him so much, and to see him like that was really rough. I felt like after twenty years of knowing him, I had somehow taken advantage of the little things, like his suspenders and the funny way his hair would just stick up. He was in a hospital gown and under blankets with his hair oiled onto his head because it was difficult to give him a bath. Hus face was even gaunt, and looking at him while he wheezed made me wish so hard for that roundness and his crooked smile.

When I finally went home, I was broken hearted. I couldn't stay because it was too hard, but I wanted to. I wanted to just stay and hold his hand like The Beatles song.

He died today at around 2:45 PM. I am so sad. Instead of being there, I was cleaning out my car at the mechanic's shop. Part of me was too chicken to go. I didn't want to see him take his last breath. I want to remember him as that sweet old man who would pay five dollars for a soda and eat a gallon of chocolate ice cream if he could. I want to remember him as my grandpa that taught me how to draw and took me to see Mulan and let me walk his dog that pulled like a huskie.

I love him, and hope that there is something more past just dying. Because he deserves to get a little slice of heaven.