Apparently, I am either bloated, or have gained weight, or my pants are actually getting smaller. (I like the very last option...) because I put on my very favorite pair of pants today. They are around seven years old, and the most beautiful, worn pair of jeans anyone has ever met. Not only are they split up the side from the hem, missing the back part of the trim, but they are also covered in tiny paint and pen splotches. They are obviously a well loved pair of jeans.
So loved, in fact, that the butt pockets have begun to tear apart at the seams. I am definitely not a seamstress, but I have done a damn fine job of holding these suckers together with a needle and thread. About once a month, the little butt pocket holes would start to come undone, and I would patiently sew everything back together.
Well, today will be the final resting day for my jeans.
Because I got into the car, and felt an abrupt cool wind on my ass.
Imagine my surprise when my jeans ripped from the top of my pocket to under my ass cheek.
And on top of that, I had to go with my parents to see the grandparents. I spent a good portion of my day shielding my ass with my purse.
Because I split my goddamned pants.
Below I will be posting a picture, but if anyone can't stomach my super pale ass-side and some thigh, don't scroll down any farther.
If you want to laugh your ass off at my exposed ass, please proceed.
And if you are wondering, that is my ass, no posing. I am not pushing my butt out to make it look bigger, it is really just a nice ass.
And those are also my wonderfully juvenile Joe Boxer underwear.
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