Shapeshifter's Quest

Sooooooo...
I am drunkle. But. I wanted you all to know that there is an amazinf .01 cent book called The Shapeshifter's Quest. It is amazing. By Dena Landon. So. If anyone wanted to read any good amazingsauce book. That is the one. Sorry I am so incredibly drunkle. I can't help myself. Wine is good. I love it and it is good. Like that book. It is SOOOOOOOO good. So good it is god. Because that is what drunk fingers say. Yes. Drunk fingers.

That is all! :D

And Ambria is here. I love her. She is my drinking buddy and puked a waterfall. I will attempt to link that incase there is is confusion.

THat is me and AMbria. At a party a little bit ago. Not this one. This one is just a birthday party. Sanctioned by my Step motehr. THe first party (and this picture) was at Zach's 21st which was not for a few days/

More smiling and awesomesauce. And Sid just licked me. He is too cute. Maybe there will be pictures. LIke this one.

Dash and Sid being hella handsome. I love my dogs.

And here is a banana split.

ANd some ducks on the ice.

ANd here is my kitty in my bathtub.

THat is all.

Love and other love!

:-D

White Castle and Shotguns

Okay, so this is a story that happened on one of the last few days of October of last year. It is a little lengthy, but I think it will be appreciated in the end.

I was at work on a Thursday or Sunday night, and had for whatever reason decided to drink coffee... at eight o'clock.

Feeling hyper, I texted Gina to see what she was doing. At that point in time, she was friends with my ex, Chris, and we were attempting a tentative friendship. I texted him to ask if it would be okay if I also hung out with him, Gina and Gage. After receiving an okay, I waited to get off work. At that point in time, hanging out usually meant driving around with the windows down all over the city and playing on jungle gyms like stupid unruly children.

At around eleven thirty, I left work and headed over to where everyone had gathered. Gage had procured some Four Loko. But because I thought I would be driving home later, I passed. And since Chris didn't have a car, Gage would be driving his, so Gage also passed on the drinking. Instead, Gina and Chris drank. But Chris got distracted, and instead of actually drinking all that much, (or even enough to feel buzzed) Gina drank two of them and passed out on the bed. I called her mom on her phone, and she was picked up by two in the morning. We proceeded to play on the computer and I slowly got bored. I was hoping for ACTION!

I realized I was staring at a pair of pants that were mine.

"Why do you have a pair of my pants?" I asked, standing up and walking over to get them. They were my nice black stretchy pants. "And my fucking hoodie?" I punched Chris in the arm annoyed that he had gotten my clothes when he left.

"Umm, I don't know." I shrugged, and started pulling off my work khakis. "What the hell? Don't strip in here!"

"What?" I said, pulling the more comfortable pants on. "It's not like you haven't seen it before. And Gage doesn't care." I buttoned them and pulled on my beige hoodie, then flopped on the bed.

"Still... Geez." He didn't look annoyed even though he was trying to convey he was.

"I am hungry. You will feed me. Gage! To the car!" (I think my original intent was to say Bat Mobile, but didn't know what color his car was.)

They agreed to my request, after all I didn't actually eat very much, and thus would not cost that much. We went downstairs and drove around the city block we were in. I was suddenly out voted for what to get. White Castle was on the menu, and everyone knew I hated White Castle.

I complained bitterly the whole time, and even during the ordering process, the cashier could hear how much I "HATE WHITE CASTLE." The guys got two dozen burgers and sodas. I solemnly took a bite out of the weird little burger, then spit it out into the box again.

"This is fucking disgusting," I said, not realizing there was ketchup, mustard and pickles on the burger. I washed the foul taste down with a huge gulp of soda then crossed my arms in the back seat as Gage steered the car back to Chris's.

The guys then had the bright idea to eat their food out in the cold in the back of the car. I felt obliged to stand outside with them in the thirty-three degree night. They munched through almost six sandwiches before we were too cold to do anything but crawl back in the car. They left the burger bag, plus the empty boxes on the trunk while we thawed.

That was a mistake.

The wind was blowing fiercely that night, but inside the car, it didn't really matter. The heat was blasting incredibly hard and loud, and I was content. Then a red car started rolling slowly down the street. It was three fifteen in the morning. We watched the car as it crept down the pavement, and Chris had the audacity to stare at the driver as he inched by. He was a large white man with short hair and a dark goatee.

They parked at the end of the street and got out. I read the back window: "Just Married."

The wife was still in her wedding dress. The guy looked at us in the car and crushed his face into a scowl. I felt myself lifting one eyebrow, wondering what his problem was. He slowly turned and jerked the back door to his car open and grabbed a cardboard box out from within. Then he very determinedly walked up the middle of the road, all the while scowling at us like we were somehow trespassing on his property.

"New flash," I said in my best anchorman voice, "the road isn't yours, dip-shit." I rolled my eyes, collapsing against the back seat again and still feeling hungry.

The guy and lady went up the house that was the neighbor to Chris's and went in. But then the guy came back out, looking defiant. Chris looked at Gage; I raised my eyebrow again. The guy came up to the window and tapped on the glass on Chris's side of the care.

He rolled the window until there was a tiny crack.

"What?" He said, sounding arrogant. I should have boxed his ears.

"I am sick of this SHIT!" The guy was bellowing like it was not three o'clock in the morning. "Pick this up, or I swear to God!"

I am not really sure what kind of a threat that is. I swear to God! That is nice and dandy, but it doesn't really convey anything, especially what one thinks he will do. I felt the whatever, Stupid, creeping across my face. I could hardly control myself. This guy was, 1. Drunk. 2. A jackass. 3. Getting on my nerves.

"Alright," Chris said, rolling the window up. The guy huffed then turned on his heels and went inside.

At this point, I am going to infer what probably happened. I couldn't see it happening, as I don't have x-ray vision, but it is a good guess.

While we sat cackling like hyenas, asking, "What the fuck is wrong with this dude?" he probably walked upstairs to his apartment where the new wife was waiting. Instead of climbing into bed like a normal person, he instead stripped down to his wife-beater and red boxers, unlocked the balcony door and made the conscious decision to stand out in thirty-three degree weather for no less than ten minutes and stare at us.

Yes, you read that right. And after noticing the crazy jackass in his underwear standing on the balcony, it was a unanimous vote that I had to keep my eye on him, since the back windows were heavily tinted. The guys and I chatted about what a weirdo this guy was, and other inane things. We were all slightly nervous, but not unnecessarily so, and definitely not enough to have one of us climb out of the car to pick up the trash that was sitting on the hood of the car.

After the ten plus minutes of standing in the cold, the guy finally had enough, (and probably chapped nipples) and went inside.

I jokingly said, "I bet he is getting a gun!"

Chris and Gage laughed, and Chris added, "Yeah. Probably has an AK-47 in there!" We laughed some more.

And then we looked over at the sudden movement of the front door to the guy's apartment. He came tramping down the stairs like an enraged gorilla. And he had something long and black in his hand.

I honestly thought for a second, (and later, Chris agreed that he thought the same) that the guy just had a metal bat.

It was only until he had raised it up on his shoulder and cocked it at us that we realized it wasn't. Instead we were looking down the single barrel of a shotgun. He tapped on the glass with it, and Chris inched the window down slightly, cracking it again.

Two things made this situation even worse.

Chris and I both didn't have our phones, and Gage's phone was busy Text Bombing mine. So there was no way to call the police at that moment in time.

"Sir?" Chris said. His voice was more than terse.

"Get the fuck out of the car and pick up this shit!" The guy made a point to not only aim the gun at me, but also at Gage. At this point in time, I was not feeling scared at all. It's arguable I was in shock. It was literally like time was going in slow motion. I was looking at the back of Chris's head and at Gage's profile and at the gun and at the crack in the window. I was focused so much on the situation that was occurring right in front of me that I didn't hear the wife who was shouting on the steps of the apartment complex. Apparently she was yelling at him to not shoot those damned kids.

Chris nodded. "I will get it right now." He opened the door and got out. I watched him head for the back of the car where some of the empty boxes had apparently been knocked over in the October wind. He scooped them up and put them in the bag, then headed back for the door and climbed back in the car again. The guy waved the gun in a circle all the while.

"You kids are a bunch of little shits. Always leaving shit for me to clean up! You make messes all up and down this fucking streets! You think you own this shit? Fuck all of you! You hear me?" (I imagine he actually would have spelled "hear" as "here" if he were to ever write about this incident in memoir.)

Gage and I had barely moved, but Gage had thankfully been smart enough to stop his phone from the Text Bombing app.

The guy huffed some more, then once again turned on his heel, but continued to curse at us loudly.

Gage handed Chris his phone.

"Call your mom," I said. Chris and his mother weren't close, but she was a Lieutenant on the police force, and I knew from the few chats we had had, she was a force to be reckoned with.

"Mommy!" Chris literally said this. He continued in a little boy voice, "This guy just pulled a gun on us!" There was a pause. "Ana, Gage and I." Another pause. "At my house." He nodded, like she could see him doing it. "Mhmm. Yeah, that is the address." He nodded and hummed a again. "Okay. We will call the police."

He dialed 911.

"Hi, my name is Chris," he began, then gave our address. "This guy came out of his house with a single barreled shotgun and told us to clean up trash." There was a pause, "No he is in his house now." He nodded. "Okay. We will wait here."

We waited for only a few minutes, when there was a cop car suddenly in front and behind us. They told us to get out of the car and asked us where the gun was.

"In the house," I said, point towards the door.

"There are no guns in the car?" One of the officers asked, starting to head towards Gage's opened door. We were crowded around the trunk and I was shivering like a loon. The guys stood around me.

"Um... No. We don't own guns, nor do we have permits to own guns." I was totally deadpan while my teeth chattered in my head.

"We still need to search the car." I was dismayed at the older cop went towards Gage's door. I was freezing my ass off, and didn't want to wait for the search. Luckily Chris's mom rolled up the alleyway in an unmarked car.

"What are you doing! These children aren't the criminals! Ana, get in the car! You look half frozen!" Mama Bear was doing her thing.

I climbed in like I as told, relishing the warmth, but sat in the passenger seat. Gage sat behind me on the driver's side, but we had to keep the doors open so we could begin giving our statements. Chris stood in the doorway, hovering over me like a guard dog.

"Are you alright?" I thought about it, then nodded. I was actually fine. Just in shock. By the sheer stupidity of the human race. This guy was going to kill three kids over White Castle burger boxes? I sighed. On his wedding night!

A very friendly looking officer with a shiny bald head came over to talk to Chris and I while Gage talked to someone else. He smiled while I shivered uncontrollably and curled into a seated fetal position. I didn't have my ID on my so I had to verbally give him all of my information. I knew everything he needed though. Then we told the story. Three times we told it each, making sure every detail was right. It wasn't like I was going to forget it though.

I watched the other officers, (there were nine officers on the one-way street) go up to the door and knock. The jackass was still standing there in his boxers and wife-beater. The police went into the house. At that point I had to reiterate my statement. I was feeling warmer though, so I was slightly more animated in the telling. The officer nodded and "mhmm'd" at the right points. When I looked up the guy was in hand cuffs and being led to the "paddy wagon" as Chris informed it was called. I raised an eyebrow.

After all of that, (and the wife standing on the patio yelling at us what white trash we were, [we will disregard the fact that I was the only wholly white person there, Chris being half-black, and Gage being half-Mexican) Chris's mom came over to tell us the news. It was all "confidential" but basically the guy lied about the whereabouts of the gun, having hidden the firearm that had a filed off serial number. That was a felony. The Lieutenant assured us that even if the charges we had were dropped, that felony would stick. He was definitely going to jail.

She also informed us we had to give a formal statement with a lawyer in the morning at 8 o'clock. It was four thirty.

We nodded, then agreed to stay up all night in order to make sure our statement was made. Chris and I went into the house and I got my previously missing clothes, my purse, phone and keys, and went back outside. I followed Gage in my car to his house, where we dropped my car off. Then we went to Walmart, (where I assured them the florescent lights would keep us awake) and we hung out.

Then at seven thirty we returned to the city and went to city hall.

After waiting a long while, the nice bald cop came and fetched us. We gave an official statement to the lawyer.

Sadly, because Chris and I were both honest, we said we weren't actually scared at the moment it happened. Gage was the only one who said he was scared, so there was only one charge via Gage against the guy. But there was the felony charge, and probably some other ones Chris's mom made a huge effort to be pressed on to the jackass.

At least he didn't kill us. Three murder charges would have been a worse way to begin a marriage.

Why I Always Feel Awkward

I am notorious for not going to things like Christmas parties for work, and for not showing up to events for school.

For instance, I briefly joined the Newspaper at my school. I say briefly because I quit after a few weeks. Why did I quit, you ask? Because I ended up going to the Newspaper meetings and sitting quietly and had not a clue what to say to anyone. I don't feel like a particularly outgoing person until I get to know a person, and I didn't know anyone there. It was horrible, sitting there, feeling my cheeks get red and feeling incredibly awkward.

On top of that, the one assignment I had got turned down by the "editor" three times. Once because it was "two wordy," (I stayed well with in the 300 word limit.) the second time because it wasn't wordy enough, and the third time, because after I finally got it right, the piece wasn't relavent anymore.

After that, I left, feeling like I had made a fool of myself for even sticking my neck out and trying to do a good job. (Come to find out, during my last semester, I made a concerted effort to read the published newspaper and saw, [to my horror] that it was riddled with errors. Spelling and grammatical! I shook my head in dismay, knowing I could have done a much finer job fixing all of those things in one sitting.)

A second instance I always feel awkward is at other people's family get togethers. Like Christmas parties with people who maybe "family" but I can't even remember their names unless under duress and with a picture/name finding game.

I often find that I don't fit in with the "kids" because they are actually too young, or are near my age, but are no where near a competent maturity level. The guys are too busy chuckling about their beery college nights, and the girls are too concerned with their crushes.

I don't get to fit in with the "adults' because they think I am "too young" or "immature." It really couldn't be farther from the truth. And even when the adults want to talk to me, it is only ever about school or work. After all, what else can you talk to a student about?

I try to arm myself with interesting things to talk about. I like to listen to NPR so I can get some good facts about the world to help aid the adults in conversation, and I make efforts to watch MTV for the teenagers. Sure, I have plenty of "drinking war stories" to astound my male family members, but I sometimes keep that to myself mostly because then there is the awkward, "Hey, lets drink and smoke sometime!"

And then the Facebook friend request.

And so on an so forth.

I would rather curl up on a couch with a good book until the feasting of dinner and the opening of gifts. But that is definitely not allowed, (especially by the parentals) so I am left to feel awkward. It is especially awkward when everyone is done saying whatever they wanted to say and there is that long pause of silence.

........................

And then they look at me like, You must tell us all things!

Sorry guys. The only amazing things I have to tell are about how I passed school and get to go to "real college!"

Oh well. At least the easiest topic would be: "So the end of the world... We survived it, chee-ya!"

The Lord of the Rings: My Addiction

I must confess...

I have a horrible condition. It strikes me for no apparent reason, and often, I am sucked into the addiction for periods lasting longer than everyone in my family can hope for. Alas, I am a reader; a lover of books; one with the written word.

I have started reading The Lord of the Rings.

It is an amazing piece of work, and I am wholly invested in Tolkien's world, and have a new appreciation for the movies have loved for such a long time.

Here, I will be very honest.

When my parental people split up and my brother and I had to move out of our house that we had grown up in, the one thing I liked to do was fall into worlds created in books. And when the opportunity arose for the Lord of the Rings to be made into movies, I would often have whole movie days where Alex and I would watch the Lord of the Rings back to back to back.

I had never read the books though.

Until about four days ago.

And I basically can't stop. The books, (while quite verbose in some instances), are amazing. And I am totally in love with Middle-Earth all over again.

I want to take a trip where I can follow a through the movie filming sights, because I feel like the movies, (thus far), have captured some of Tolkien's Middle-Earth.

And the guy that plays Aragorn, (Viggo Mortensen), is INCREDIBLY SMOKING HOT.

What can I say? I am a sucker for a good book, and a good movie. 

I hope that explains why I have been absent for nigh on a week!

In other news: I am at this very moment uploading a YouTube video!

And when it is uploaded I will update this with a link! (UPDATED!!!)

Once I finish the Lord of the Rings, I promise to come back and continue to astound all of you with my wonderful stories of my life. For instance, I think my next post will include a short story about a very strange boy who really doesn't know how to woo a woman.

Changing Things Up (UPDATED)

Okay, an update is at hand.

After some more deliberation, I have changed some more things around.

Firstly, the Video Bar is now Maine, New York, New Hampshire, Vermont, Pennsylvania and the like. I added the "Email Subscription" thing. (Apparently since I don't have an RSS feed reader, it means that other people might not either.) Thus the "Email is Awesome" subscription spot is going to New Jersey, Maryland, Delaware, and the two Virginias. After that, we have the "Awesome Followers" tab taking the place of the Carolinas, the RSS feed in the Georgia and Alabama plots, and finally the "Archive" occupying the peninsula known normally as Florida.

There will be Piña coladas and much rejoicing!

*********************

Okay, so for the past few hours, (from like last night at around ten until three in the morning and then from around two until three thirty) I have been messing with all the different template stuff and whatever.

I thought about changing the layout to a nicer-looking "dynamic view," but I can't. I like almost everything about the dynamic view, except that I can't make the bar that has the "Blog Archive" and "Video Bar" stay popped out. It isn't the easiest thing to use or see. So for the moment, I will be using basically the same template as before. But for all the wonderful people that visit me regularly, (yes, I can see the stats on my blog steadily climb, [P.S. you guys are awesome]) I wanted to point out a few of the changes I have made.

For people like me, who seem to not be detail oriented, but actually are, I have changes things like the font of the title, the post titles, the dates, and the gadget titles. I picked something that kind of resembles my hand writing and that also looks like permanent marker. This seemed like an obvious change to me, since I started writing this blog when I first moved out of my parental people's homes.

I also added some new gadgets/widgets. The major one that I think should be noted on would my YouTube channel feed gadget thing. It took me almost an hour to figure this one out, but alas, my hard work paid off. Hopefully it will continue to work correctly and in my favor.

The second thing I added was something my mother suggested. This is the "RSS" subscribe button. I am not actually sure what it is, per se, but apparently it is quite useful for people who have an RSS reader. That should be located under my "Followers" button, and I think it is useful if someone does not have a Blogger account, but is instead part of an blogging community from another website, (but obviously still loves me and my Blogger website!).

I switched up a few of the placements of certain things, and that may change, according to my moods, or if there is a great conflict about finding certain things. I moved the "About Me" to the bottom of the page, feeling that it wasn't totally necessary to have it just floating around on the side being all "Look at me! This is who I am! I know you didn't know me before hand, even though everything I write is in the first-person perspective!" Therefore, its post has been moved from the East Coast to Texas.

I have the Followers button at the top of the column, (effectively making it Maine) and then the RSS sign-up button below it, (making it New York and Pennsylvania?). I made the Archive below that, (so it is a spattering of those tiny New England States that have excellent public transportation) and then the YouTube Video Bar below that. My only qualm is that with my Video Bar being Florida, it is very far down, and my posts aren't always that long, so I fear it may not always be seen or known about. Hopefully though, people will want to visit Florida, and maybe have a Piña colada or two.

Any whose, the more I begin to understand the wondrous ways of the internet and the offerings that can be given to me, I may change some things up even more. But never fear! I will hopefully remember to make the little transitions as painless as possibly by telling everyone what I did so as not to allow a faulty blog/United States map.

Last Semester's Project

So, Last semester I had to do this project on urban legends, and had to create a video. And because I wasn't feeling particularly creative or awesome today, (on the contrary, I was feeling lazy and unawesome) I put this video together instead. I shows off my "creative side."

And the fact that for a good grade, I will make a fool of myself, dress as an old lady, and cackle hysterically in public. Plus I got to drag my little brother in on the antics.

Basically we did it all in one shoot, and the whole thing is just improvised. Hope you all enjoy it!

For more visit HERE!

Power Lines

So, today I was going to make a rock awesome YouTube video to add to my collection. But is didn't because some jackass cut the power lines to my whole apartment complex.

I was just being all happy, curled up on my bed watching The Tudors, getting myself ready to be awesome, and then my power cord to my laptop goes off. At first, I started freaking out thinking that my stupid cat, who has made a habit out of chewing on electrical cords fucked up my charger. But then I realized that my internet was also off.

And the turtle light.

And the fridge.

And it all sunk in.

So I wandered over to my mom's house and found out the power was out there too.

I felt like, "Fuck my life."

Instead, I took a really long nap and basically drooled all over the pillow on the couch at my mom's house, woke up, went to the Bread Company, and ate soup. My mom and I went up there so she could do her work on her laptop, and because I was so bored, I ended up ripping the holes in pants into really big holes.

By the time my mom drove us home, I had torn the holes past the point of no return. I walked home a proceeded to rip the holes all the way down. My pants are now denim strips. Oh well. Such is life.

Here is a picture of my turtle. He is pretty awesome, too.