Okay, so this maybe a partial reason why I am not dating anyone. In the past semester I have been approached by a few guys wanting to "get to know me better." While that is not a bad thing, it is really their approach that makes me think twice about me wanting to get to know them better.
Here is one example:
I am sitting in the library, with my headphones in, a textbook on a side table, a highlighter in hand, and my computer in my lap. A guy sees me working diligently, (by which I mean I am completely engrossed in my work and probably have a "leave me the fuck alone face"). He walks over. Says something. Blink-182 is blasting loudly in my ears so naturally I don't hear him. He goes one step further by waving furiously.
Do I know this person? I look up. Definitely not.
He says something again and motions taking out an earbud. I take it out. "Oh, hi. Can I sit here?"
"Yeah..." I answer drawing it out. "It is a public library." I go to pop my earbud back in. Instead he starts talking, and I feel obliged to be polite.
"So, you must be really good at science." I have a philosophy text book on the side table.
"Um, yeah... I guess if I want to be I am." I look at my final paper that I was working on so keenly. I want him to leave me alone. "So, I am working on this paper..."
"What classes are you talking?" He leans forward like an expectant puppy.
"Uh, you know, this and that. But I am working on a paper and have a class in a little bit." I don't have class in an hour, but he doesn't know that. It is almost two. I want to make a run for it, but it is fucking cold as balls outside.
I mistakenly think he will go away, and for the next hour I sit and and answer questions in as few of words as possible. There is really more nodding or shaking my head than anything else. Finally, I get fed up and start packing up.
"I really have to go. This was a... nice chat." I put my laptop in my backpack and hope he will just understand I am not interested. I don't know him well enough to be rude and just say, "Dude, not a chance."
He doesn't get the memo. "So can I call you sometime."
"Uh... no, I don't think so..." He looks crushed, "'Cause I am busy all the time, with work and school... I uh, don't even get to see my own friends or family..." I am panicking. So I nod and run away.
Here is my other example:
I am sitting outside my chemistry class, on my phone and listening to my iPod when a guy walks over. He makes some motion, and again, I feel obliged to be polite and look up, take my earbud out, and find out what he wants.
First he asks about my necklace. It's a rock on a sting that means nothing to me. He tells me about his ring of pink opal. Apparently it has hindu magic. I say okay, then turn back to my game on my phone.
He starts talking about the fact that I have Starbucks coffee. He tells me about a "cool coffee shop" near someplace that is probably out in West County.
I nod, some more, then put my phone in my lap, knowing he won't go away, but that the chemistry lab door isn't open.
And then for some reason, I think oh, he is actually kind of nice and normal. And then I think, I should give him my number if he asks. I should have known better.
When I finally do give him my number, I feel like maybe this is a good thing. Of course I know he wants to get to know me so he can ask me out, and that makes me feel good about myself. Look, people find me attractive!
Hey! This is Hirsch! How are you! He texts.
Pretty good :) I respond.
So I am going to Texas this week. But I wanted you to know that I have not stopped thinking about your long, slender, milky white neck all day. You would make a good weather person.
I make a really weird face and decide I don't have anything to say to that. Shit just got real.
A week later I get this:
U hvnt chkd up on me all WEEK! :( :( :( How r u gonna make this relationship wrk if we dnt tlk!!!
Disregarding the ridiculous "text speech" I decide again not to answer. Relationship? What the fuck?
A few days later:
Hey! I saw it was snowing, and I thought of U! I pictured u fallin n the river! :D
Uh...huh.
If we dnt ever tlk i dnt think we r gonna wrk out! :(
Kind of the point.
So, I know why you aren't talking to me. You have been abducted by aliens. That is the only way you would not talk to me. Because I know you would otherwise. So when the aliens bring you back, I will be here waiting for a message. :) :D
Sorry, dude. HELL FUCKING NO. Definitely not going to happen.
At least I have been smart enough to tell people around me about this weirdo. My little brother even offered to "make him eat his teeth." His words, but it paints a glorious picture.
My last example, I will simply link, because it doesn't need to be written twice. My second example though is the best example as to why I am single though.
Oh well. C'est la vie. Vie is full of weirdo imagining me falling in rivers. And assuming I am good at science. And guys going to parties that were totally not invited, and no one knowing who they are.
I guess the saying that would be more applicable it Ma vie amoureuse est morte.
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