A Mild Case of Alcohol Poisoning

Recently, one of my friends, Carl, who has been previously mentioned, had a birthday party. He turned twenty. Gina, Christina and I all went. I pride myself on the fact that I was able to find the party place all by myself, following directions, and barely got lost. We pulled up to the house, saw that it was bopping, and parked.


I was wearing my ridiculously tall brown leather boots, a tight purple tank top and long jeans with the holes in the thighs. Basically, I was smoking hot. We opened the door, and we were immediately greeted by all of Carl's friends from school. Gina and Christina knew them, but I didn't. We hadn't gone to the same high school.


People greeted me with handshakes and eyes that said, "Well, don't you look familiar?" I smiled and introduced myself. They continued to give me that look of, I know you, but I don't know where from.


Marcel stood up when he saw us and gave me a very tight hug. I think he was just squishing my boobs onto him.


We let ourselves into the kitchen, and like a good bartender, I poured Gina and I matching drinks of vodka and Kool-aid. We clinked plastic cups and looked towards the party in the other room. Carl came in and said, "Come on! All the white people need to come hang with us black folks!" Then he gave Gina a hug and then gave me another super squishy hug.


We followed him into the living room where a card game called Taboo was starting up. I sat down next to Marcel and seriously started to read the rules. Basically, you had to get your group to say the word on your card with out saying the word, or the words or ideas that pertain to. Those secondary words were listed below the actual word.


"Oh, lord," I said, taking a swig of my concoction.


"What?" Marcel asked me, taking the rules from me.


"I am going to be horrible at this game," I said. Then I explained how I have a terrible with the tip-of-the-tongue phenomena. He found my utter misery directed towards the game highly amusing. I sighed, and drank more.


I was on team two, and for the first five or six people in my group, I offered no guesses. It was so difficult because most of the time, I had no idea what they were referencing. It's politically incorrect to say that blacks and whites come from different backgrounds, but it is true. The majority of the party was black boys and girls who got the references. I didn't.


After I finished my cup, and the alcohol was finally loosening my little pea brain, I started to see some connections.


It was when the word was Nicole Kidman, that I got in the spirit.


"She is from Australia," one of my teammates said, waving her hand like she was turning a crank.


"Oh! Oh!" I exclaimed, waving my hand similarly. "She's blond... and was in that movie... with Hugh Jackman!" I was so sure. "It's on the tip of my tongue!" I waved frantically. Time was up.


"Nicole Kidman," she offered. I nodded vigorously.


"Ah, yeah. I need more to drink, obviously." I passed my cup back to Gina who went and fetched me something akin to Jungle Juice. "Mmmm," I said into my cup. "This is good shit."


Gina told me later that by this point she was on her third cup. I wanted to say, it's not a competition.


We continued playing, and even though Gina was one her "third cup" she still wasn't loosened up. She refused to play.


"No, no, no. I am no good at this."


"Play! Play! Play!" We all chanted. Finally she took the cards. She tried. She tried really hard. Teams one and two were playing together, trying to help her out. We only got two answers.


We all laughed, but I saw the red creeping into her face. I knew she was embarrassed. Nobody else seemed to care. Someone patted her nicely on the shoulder and she smiled, feeling a little relieved.


The cards were passed around, and by this point, I was guessing and actually getting things right. I was proud of myself.


"It's my turn!" I grabbed for the cards, prepared myself for something really hard. I can't recall what it was, but I know my team scored six points in one minute. I felt like a rockstar. That meant I needed more to drink. I stood up and looked around, realizing Gina wasn't on the arm chair.


"Shit." I set my cup down. I had one thing to do that night, and it was make sure Gina didn't make out with Carl. Se had asked me to watch her. Already I had lost her. I went into the kitchen, sure that I would find her. I didn't.


Instead I found Carl. He was pouring himself some horrible pink liquid that I thought was Pepto Bismal. "Hey," I said, nodding.


"Oh," Carl said, topping of his red plastic cup. "We should chat." I had told him we needed to, after he almost had sex with Gina the weekend before.


"Yeah. It's a good idea." I felt sober. He opened the door to the stairs leading outside. I followed him and plunked down on the step.


"So what is going on." It wasn't a question, and he meant with Gina. She had freaked out about last weekend. They were drunk, and she was teasing him. He wanted to prove a point. They almost had sex, but he remembered he had promised me to not do that that night. It was a pinky promise.


Gina had freaked out. I told her it was no big deal, that we could just get her some Plan B. Just in case there was any "icky boy stuff." When she refuse, I explained how people can get pregnant without ever having sex. It was meant as, please, please think about these things before hand!


She hadn't had nearly as many sex education classes as me. It was understandable she didn't know these things.


"She is spazzing out a little," I said, drinking from Carl's cup of pink.


"Why?" He picked it up and drank too.


"Because..." I chewed on the inside of my lip. "She doesn't 'believe' in birth control, you know?" I always used quote marks when I said this. I thought it was a silly notion, like not believing in grass, or fingernails, or chocolate. It was there, so you have to believe it, right?


"Yeah, so?" He took another swig.


"So, she thinks it's a possibility..." I paused again, knowing this was going to sound ridiculously stupid, "That you could have gotten her pregnant that night. That's a scary thought for a young girl."


He laughed, a belly laugh. "Why would she think that?"


"Well, I explained how people can get pregnant even without having sex. It was more of a warning, you know? I didn't mean for her to get all wonky in the head." I mean, in the television show 'Scrubs,' J. D. got that one chick pregnant without sex.


"Is she... you know, bleeding?"


"Yeah. She was still a little freaked out. I mean, it's a good thing I brought up the topic. It'll keep you guys from making bad decisions. Just imbibing you both with fear." He looked at me, not understanding exactly what I had meant by 'imbibing.' "I was putting the fear of God into you guys, to say the least." I hoped it was still going to be there.


"Oh," he said, laughing again. "So she is on the rag, and not pregnant."


"Yup."


"And me and you, were good right?" He was sitting next to me, resting his hand on my knee.


"Of course, Carl." I gave him a side hug just as the door opened. It was Adley.


"Oh... sorry." He closed the door quickly. I blushed furiously and stood up. Carl followed suit.


"Adley!" I called as I swung the door open. He was still standing right there. Sadly, I still had to look up at him. I may have been almost six foot in my ridiculously tall boots, but he was still almost a head taller. "Nothing was going on, okay?" I pointed my finger at him dangerously.


"It's cool, it's cool." He waved his hands around him helplessly. "I don't want to get on your bad side," he said laughing. I smiled and patted his wrist.


"No you don't." We went into the living room again. The cake was alight with fire. The candles had been lit.


"Happy birthday to you," we all started singing. When that one finished, Marcel and Carl's god-sisters started singing the more fun version. "Happy birthday to ya'! Happy birthday to ya'! Happy biiiiirthday! Happy birthday to ya'!" It went on for almost two minutes, but was all in good fun.


"Make a wish!" Someone yelled as he blew the candles out. I looked around I realized that I had still not found Gina. I headed outside.


She was standing on the step, talking to Christina. I waved, "You missed the candles." They shrugged. I was thirsty and went back inside.


I went into the kitchen and went to fill up a cup. Carl was standing in there. He scooped my boob.


"Hey!" I crinkled my brows together. "That was my boob!"


"Yeah. And this is your ass," he said, reaching around and squeezing it.


"Uh!" I walked towards the door as Marcel came in. "He just groped me!" I complained.


Marcel grabbed my ass then ran his hand up to my boob. "He's got good reason to," he said, chuckling. "You are fucking hot."


"Uh!" I blushed. I tried to be mad, but I was secretly flattered.


"And you know," Carl said.


"You are acting taller than both of us. It's not fair you want to look like a model."


It was like they had rehearsed it.


"Thanks, I think." I took a sip of my drink. I didn't know what it was. I thought a beer would have been better than the purple sweet drink I had.


They laughed and headed out into the living room. That was when Gina's all time crush came in.


His name was Jermarco. I looked at him quizzically, knowing there was something he needed to know. I cocked my head like a dog. I didn't know what Gina saw in him because he was definitely not her type. He wasn't macho, he wasn't very tall, and he wore glasses.


"Jermarco, right?" I asked, handing him my hand.


"Ana," he said, shaking it. He fished around in the chicken bowl. "You and Chris are still broken up right?"


I didn't know why people asked it like that. Still broken up. Like there was the expectation we would get back together.


"Yes, we are not together anymore." I nodded. "It's a 'not getting back together' sort of not together anymore, if you know what I mean."


"Oh," he said, popping a piece of chicken in his mouth.


"Yep, and Jermarco," I said, remembering what I need to say, "If you make out with Gina tonight. It won't mean anything like sex." I smiled, and he smiled back. I picked up my drink, and for the third time went in search of Gina.


She was still on the porch, but Christina wasn't around. Marcel was talking to her. I stepped out.


"Gina!" I waved at the back of her head. She turned and looked at me. It was like she was looking at a train wreck waiting to happen.


"Yes..." Her 's' was extra long.


"Do you want me to stop you from making out with him too?" I pointed with my full arm at Marcel. He wiggled his fingers at me.


"What?" She stumbled in her tall shoes. I bounced from one foot to the other.


"You don't want to make out with Carl. You want to make out with Jermarco." I said it loudly and smiled. I didn't know how badly I was embarrassing her in front of Marcel.


"Uh, you don't have to stop me from making out with Marcel," she said, looking back at him. He looked up at me, and I beamed.


"Don't worry," he said. He put his hand up in the air, offering his pinky. "I won't let anything bad happen between us."


For some reason, that reassured me. Looking back, I don't know why. I don't even know if he was talking about Gina. But I raised my pinky and did a fake curl and a thumb pump.


"I am gonna hold you to your word!" I went back inside and sat down to play cards. I got up some time later when Gina beckoned me outside.


"What did you tell Jermarco?" She hissed at me. She was upset. Her usual manner of dealing with things when upset and drunk was to hit them. I looked at her hands, wondering if I was going to have to react to being slapped. I curled my left hand loosely.


"I told him to not think anything of it if you guys macked." I raised an eyebrow, waiting.


"You said what!" It wasn't necessarily a question. I knew I had spoken clearly. We were standing at the end of the driveway. I didn't want to have to drag her back to the house if I had to punch her.


She raised her hands in the air, getting close to the point of almost hitting me. Then she turned to her left and walked away, throwing her hands in the air furiously. I relaxed my stance, shaking out my arms and shoulders.


"How could you say that?" She screamed it at the air. I shrugged. She was too far away to try anything without me knowing. I watched her like a wolf though, ready act if need be.


"It's not a big deal. I just told him not to try to bang you. Paraphrasing, of course." I shifted from foot to foot.


"Ugh." She sighed and headed towards the house. "Oh, well. It doesn't matter that much." She was back to normal. I let out a deep breath. I didn't want to take out my best friend, but if I was drunk, I knew I would react first, then probably never ask questions later.


We were back in the house, and there was another card game starting up. Never Have I Ever. I was so ready to play. Then Carl, Marcel, Dick (whose name is actually Joey), and some other guy walked in. I got my cup full, ready to play. Carl waved me over. With a groan, I got up, grabbed my cup, and followed him to the stairs again.


He sat one step below me. I curled my legs around his back. We had sat like this many times before, so I didn't find it weird.


"Oh, God," he said. He wrapped an arm around my calf. My ears twitched back like they sometimes do when I am slightly alarmed.


"Carl," I asked, keeping completely still.


"I shouldn't," he moaned to himself. My ears twitched again.


"Shouldn't..." I dragged it out.


"I shouldn't want you, but I do." He rolled his head into my lap and looked up at me.


"Oh." I continued to not move. I had a thousand things rolling through my head. It was perfectly legitimate to want to make out with him. I would have if I hadn't have had the Everclear Gatoraide. But Gina was macking with him now. On a regular basis. That was weird. And on top of that, he was Chris the Ex's best friend.


"I just...you are so beautiful. In your swimsuit, when you went to the Y with me and Chris. You're so beautiful." I sat there, my eyes the size of saucers. I didn't have anything to say.


How flattering, didn't cut it. It was weird and I didn't know how to deal with it. I wasn't in love with Chris anymore. But did the fact that I went out with him, had slept with him, had loved, and lost him make me sloppy seconds?


"I just want you so bad. Everything about you. I just want to taste you." He licked my jeans.


"That's my pants," I said, matter-of-factly.


"You could take them off. I can eat you out."


"I don't think that is a good idea." I checked to make sure I hadn't lost my belt.


"Please, it's all I want."


"I think ponies are a better thing to want." I continued to not move.


"You can ride me like a pony." I laughed.


"No, I don't think so." I sat there, pursing my lips. He turned so he was eye to eye with me.


"You know I can't control how I feel."


"A lot of guys probably feel like you," I said, trying to help. I leaned back and away from him. "It's totally natural. You are a young male with raging hormones."


"It's not just that," he said, giving me the once over. I looked at the broom at the bottom of the stair. "Please," he said, putting his hands on my wrists. It wasn't a controlling motion. He scooted so he was sitting next to me and started licking my neck. I didn't move.


"You know," I said, "There isn't enough genetic material in the tiger population to keep the species genetically diverse enough to sustain them and keep them healthy. In our lifetime, we may see the extinction of a species."


"Mmm," he said, still licking my neck.


"You shouldn't do that." I batted him away. "I get marks easy."


"Oh." He moved to the top of my boob.


"Hey," I said, batting him away again.


"God!" He said, standing up. "You make me so hard!" He started unbuttoning his pants.


"Uh..." I crinkled my eyebrows again.


"I need to go outside," he said.


"That's a good idea."


He opened the door just as Adley and Christina were coming around.


"Hey guys!" He gave them both hugs. It was dark, so I don't think they noticed he had unbuttoned pants. "Where are you going?"


"I need to go home," Christina said. She patted his shoulder. "It was so much fun," she said, looking at me. I waved.


"See you later," I said. Adley and Christina went back through the gate and Carl turned around and peed on the grass. I shook my head. "How much have you drank?" I asked.


"Too much," he said, sitting down on the sidewalk. He laid down on his side and sighed.


"You okay?" I stayed put. I didn't want to recharge his sexual energy.


"Yeah. I'm sorry. I am being such a jerk. I know I shouldn't feel this way." He sighed again and didn't say anything for a long time.


"It's okay." I didn't want him to feel bad for feeling.


"It's just...you know. You are you. And like, you are amazing. So I want to get with that, you know?"


"I am not taking your virginity, Carl."


"I wouldn't protest," he said. He curled his arm under his head.


"Yeah, well, I am still not going to be your first time. Sorry." I said it, but I didn't mean the 'sorry.' I didn't want to take his virginity. I wasn't sure I wanted to have sex with him. There were too many ties with other people I knew.


"I would be great in bed," he said, like he knew a thing or two.


"I am calling bullshit," I said.


"You have always said Chris was great in bed."


I blushed, because I do always say that. "He learned very quickly. Doesn't mean he was great all the time. Or at first."


"Okay, okay." He stopped talking and I told him I had to go pee. There was a lot less people in the house. I went to the bathroom and came back. Carl was quiet. I grew concerned and went outside.


"Hey," I said, and poked him.


"Uhn," he groaned.


"Wake up." He moved away from me and onto a tent that was rolled up. "Are you gonna be sick?" I asked. I was concerned.


My phone started to ring as he began heaving into the grass. I picked it up.


"Hello?" It was Kyra.


"What the hell is going on?" She harped into my ear. I held the phone out about a foot. I could still hear her. "Where are you! Gina is scared and lost! What did you do!"


"I don't know where she is," I mumbled at her, absently rubbing Carl's back. He dry heaved again and again.


"YOU DON'T KNOW!" She screeched it so loud that Carl stopped dry heaving and perked his head up like a dog. He just needed to whine at me.


"She got mad at me, Kyra. I don't know if she is still here, or if she is with Christina."


"She could be in the woods or something! You need to find her." I looked around the back yard. It was North City. There were no woods.


"Here. Let me give you Christina's number. Call her." I smacked Carl's hip, and he turned like a trained horse and stuck his leg out. I reached in his pocket and grabbed his phone. I searched through his contacts and found Christina.


"The number is..." I repeated it to her three times, then had her repeat it back to me. I double checked it, the alcohol swimming behind my eyes.


"Call her and see if she has Gina." Kyra complied to my calm tone. I lacked slurred words because I was talking slowly and clearly.


I hung up, put my phone in my left pocket and Carl's in my right. He had gone back to dry heaving. I petted his back. Twenty minutes went by, and he finally spit something up. He was getting clammy, and the sky was starting to drizzle cold rain on our backs.


The door inside squeaked open, and then I heard feet clack downstairs. The screen door made a screech and a bang as it swung shut. It was Gina in her white jacket. I smiled.


"Hey, I thought you left." She looked at Carl, shirtless and dry heaving on a tent.


"Why would I do that?" She shucked off her coat and handed it to me. I had goosebumps.


I put her coat on. It smelled like her body wash and sweat. "You were mad at me. I thought you went home with Christina."


"No. I was just playing cards. What wrong with him?" She pointed from her hip.


"Drank too much, of course." I patted him like he was a good ol' boy.


"I'll go get Adley." She went inside and came back out a few minutes later. Adley looked like a giant from where I knelt.


I stepped back as Adley moved in. "Come on, Carl," he said calmly, hoisting Carl up like a rag doll. "What did you do to yourself?" Carl shook his head like he didn't know or didn't remember.


We let Adley take Carl into the house and dump him in the bathroom. Gina and I sat on the tub. I shook my head. I didn't want to talk about anything.


Carl finally got sick again. I thought he would get better, but he didn't. We dumped him in the tub.


"Why are your pants unbuttoned?" She asked him, looking at him like he was a bad puppy who peed on the floor.


"It's a long story," I offered. She shrugged, not wanting to know.


We left Carl in the tub, thinking that he would get better.


When we came back an hour later, after Malcolm had heard the story about both of my beta fish, Frankenfurter and Malcolm, Carl had only gotten worse.


"Oh, lords," I cursed. I pressed my hand to his forehead. He was clammy.


"You think he has alcohol poisoning?" I pulled out my phone and connected to the web. After I willed my fingers to behave, (they kept typing 'alcohohol poisononining') I pulled up a website listing the symptoms and how to mitigate it.


"He needs sugar and water." I brought a huge cup of pineapple juice and a huge cup of water.


"Drink these," Gina insisted. She handed him the cups. At first he resisted us, but then after much forcing, he conceded to do what we said. I got bored and headed out into the living room. The girl on couch wanted a status update.


"What's wrong with him?" She harped at me. She had a screechy voice that was high and nasally.


"I think," I said slowly, making sure to enunciate, "He has a mild case of alcohol poisoning. We are treating him with an increased intake of glucose and H₂O. He should be getting better shortly."


She looked at me with wide eyes that were hyper dilated from marijuana. "Are you are docta' or summin?" I shrugged. I was just smart.


I grabbed some water from the faucet and sat at the card table and started playing spades. I was good. I won five out of the six games. The boys grumbled with annoyance. I laughed and got up then headed to the bathroom to check on Carl and Gina. She was sitting on the toilet.


"Hey," I said, nodding at Carl. He smiled.


"I am feeling so much better now." He laughed and wiggled. Gina and I sighed. Boys were so dumb.


At some point, Carl was able to get out of the tub and get into the living room. He fell asleep on the floor. I looked at my phone. It was almost four in the morning.


I asked Gina to go with me to get our sleeping bags. We brought them in the house, I rolled out my sleeping bag, plopped down and went to sleep. I was done for the night!

I'm a Party Girl in a Party World

I went to a Halloween party on Halloween night.


I was Indiana Jones.


Gina dressed as Laura Croft.


We were an archeological dream team.


We went to Kevin's house. When I told my dad and Sharon where I was going, Sharon raised her nose at me.


"Who is Kevin?" She asked, looking at me with slitted eyes.


"I work with him," I said shrugging. To me, it wasn't a big deal. Everyone from work was going to be there.


"What does he want with you? You are barely an adult." I shrugged again and wiggled my fingers at them.


"Gotta go!" I skipped away in my black boots, clicking across our hardwood floors. Sharon scowled at me, burning little holes of anger into my shoulders.


I went and picked Gina up from her house and we circled back around to find Kevin's house. I had an address. I drove up and down a few streets, and when I realized it was the house with the strobe light and crazy spiderwebs, I got nervous.


"Does it look like there are people in there?" I asked Gina.


"No..." She shook her head. I chewed my lip.


"Maybe we should drive around and wait." I didn't want to just go in and be the only two people there.


We opted to driving around. I texted Shesha, who was also going to the party. She said she'd be there soon.


Finally I gave up driving around. It was a waste of gas anyways. I parked a few feet from the house on the street and handed Gina my keys.


"Under no circumstance should you hand these to me." She nodded gravely, then smiled like a goon.


"You are getting plastered tonight," she said laughing. I laughed and nodded. We got out of the car, and I was relieved to see another work mate. Nick was wearing clothes that seemed a few sizes too small.


"What are you?" I asked. He looked confusedly at his outfit.


"I don't know. You like?" I shook my head and laughed as we headed up the stairs. I didn't ring the doorbell, instead just letting us all in. I was an old pro at this, it seemed.


I was greeted by Justin the Sheriff, who led us to the kitchen. I found Sasha the Mummy, her boyfriend Courtney, Sabrina, and Marcus from work.


"Take a shots with us!" Sasha demanded. I complied, taking shot of vodka. It burned when it went down. I shook my head, and took a second shot with Marcus. Tom the Zombie (Killer) came down the stairs. I eyeballed him. He eyeballed me. I giggled.


I decided that I needed to explore the house before I got way to drunk to not find the bathroom. I checked out the counter one last time. I saw the Everclear. I grew slightly concerned.


Gina and I headed towards the stairs. Tom the Zombie was in the way. "Can we go up?" I asked, looking up at him.


"Let me show you the way." We followed him, and he started showing off the rooms. My eyes about fell out of my head.


"Oh, shit!" I exclaimed. "Those guitars are beautiful." I reached for one then retracted my hand. "Can I?"


"Sure, it's no problem." I slowly picked up the guitar and propped it on my hipbone. I slowly strummed the strings. It sounded like a guitar, all right.


"Okay," I set it down. "Show me everything." I followed him into Kevin's room and spied the guitars in there. I silently drooled. Tom then showed us his room. My eyes couldn't stay in anyone place. There was so much amazingness going on.


"Tom, by the way." He offered his hand.


"Ana," I shook his hand firmly. We smiled at each other. Gina rolled her eyes. I went over to the red seven string guitar and picked it up. I balanced it on my thigh while I fingered a few chords. "Your guys' house...it's amazing." I spotted a violin, some bases, and a door to a balcony.


I carefully set the guitar down, overly aware that that vodka was worming its way through my system.


We looked in Justin the Sheriff's room, and again, I found an instrument to drool over. I decided that it was time to go downstairs after spotting the bathroom.


"The potty house!" I pointed at it, making sure Gina knew too. She smiled at me as I thumped down the stairs and into the kitchen. Marcus was handing out sangria and I took a cup. Or maybe two. I wandered outside, and then back in. More people from work were arriving, and I was turning into a regular chatty Cathy.


I went down in the basement, Gina following me and making sure I didn't hurt myself or something else. I squealed at the sight of even more guitars. I touched everything. I even tapped on the mic and did a, "One, two, one, two."


We went back upstairs, and I belatedly realized the last thing I had eaten that day was a piece of toast and some orange juice. It was no wonder I was really feeling the very small amount of drinks I already had.


I went into the kitchen, hoping for food, but ended up with a beer. It was a wonder I had been able to get it open. Kevin finally made an appearance. I think I said hi, and he asked if I knew who he was.


"You have a mustache. You're a...pedophile!" I grinned broadly. He laughed, throwing his head back.


"No," he said abruptly. "I am Bernie, from 'Weekend at Bernie's.'" I had never seen the movie, but I believed he looked just like him. Kevin was like that. Very committed.


I gave him a high five like I knew what he was talking about. He nodded like a rock star and I headed back into the kitchen.


I started talking to Kevin's brother, and half way through the conversation my eyes grew wide. "Ohhigawd," I slurred. I waved my beer towards him. "You're not a cop, are you?" I patted his arm.


"Haha," he chuckled at me. "No, I am the furthest thing from a cop." I didn't know what that made him exactly, but I was reassured. I patted his arm again, leaning in close.


"Good, 'cause if you were, I woulda said I was twenty-one!" I clinked glasses with him. "Sorry," I said, still leaning on him, "I'm drunk." I nodded knowingly, gave his arm a squeeze and then turned to my left and saw Shesha.


"Sheeeeeeesha!" I cried out, sounding like an over loud baby. I ran to her and she hugged me tight.


"I'm drunk," I told her, patting her cheeks. "You have weird eyes." I jiggled her boobs. "Still soft!" I grabbed her hand and brought her in the kitchen. "Shots!" I grabbed the shot glasses, poured something in them, and handed her one. We tipped our heads back and drank.


I kissed her cheek, found Chrys, and hugged him to my breasts. "Darling!" I kissed his cheeks.


I found Lindsey and hugged her around the waste. "I get it!" I pointed at her chest. "You're Sookie Stackhouse!"


I fluttered around, drinking other people's drinks and wondering where Gina was.


At some point, I started bringing people upstairs. I had to show everyone the amazing beds!


It sounds a lot worse than it is. It involved me sitting on the beds, and saying, "Oh my gosh. Isn't this amazing?" I would lay back and laugh. They did too. They knew I wasn't bringing them up there to make out.


Every time I went back downstairs, I took another shot, got progressively drunker, and ended up on Tom the Zombie's bed, telling Gina to stop making the world spin.


"Let's go to the bathroom." I stumbled to my feet, smiled at Tom the Zombie, and slipped into the bathroom. I puked my guts out, scooted over to the sink and washed my hands mouth and face.


"I gargled!" I smiled at Gina. She smiled back. I got up and danced my way down the stairs.


"Apple Pie Shots!" Kevin announced. I swiped one, tossed my head back, and downed the hot cider drink. I went and sat on the steps. Shesha was there. I told her I got sick. And that it was brown. She handed me a hotdog bun. I munched on it, but the bread dried my mouth out, so I spit it out. I pulled Gina over by the hand and reached for her backpack.


She had a Camelback full of water that I had been sucking on all night. I needed to stay hydrated!


"Oh, gosh," I said, and climbed up the stairs again. There was a line to the bathroom. I looked at Lauren, put a finger to my mouth and pointed outwards.


"Hey!" Lauren pounded on the door. "She needs to vomit! Open up!" The door opened, and a guy that worked in the kitchen stood in the way, looking at me. I pushed forward but he didn't budge. I looked at the claw foot tub mournfully. I didn't want to puke in such a fine looking tub.


"Move, you worthless idiot!" Gina screamed, pulling the guy out of my way. I lurched towards the toilet and puked my guts out again. I got vomit on my arm.


"Uh! Uh!" I cried and looked at my arm in utter despair. "I...its on my arm!" I looked at my arm again.


"Don't worry, sweetie." Gina grabbed a towel and helped me wash it off. Newly clean, I smiled like a little kid in the pet shop. I lurched forward and out into the hall. Tom the Zombie was there.


"Don't worry, it happens to the best of us." I smiled again.


"Eh! It happens to me all the time!" I laughed as I thumped down the stairs. Gina took me by the wrist.


"Sweetie, let's go home." I nodded and bounded towards the door, waving at everyone.


"I gotta go guys! Bye!" Gina lead me out to the car and I got in the passenger seat. I was so confused when I got in. Why wasn't I driving? Gina turned us towards her house and drove. We almost made it.


Then I got sick again. She pulled over, I opened up the door, and I puked for the third and final time on the curb. Gina patted my shoulder.


I smiled as she tucked me into bed. "That was a great party!"


"Yes, yes, it was sweetie."

Short Shorts and Tall Heels

I desperately needed food in my studio. There was no way around it. It was only a matter of time before Adam noticed that there was the same amount of food leaving the house every week even though I had officially "left."


So I sat in my tall green bar stools, swinging my legs, sighing, growling, and groaning. I had an inky pen in hand, a three subject notebook on the table, and a cup of coffee swirling with cream and enough sugar to put me into diabetic shock.


I smiled, because I knew I needed coffee. I wrote that down. And creamer. And sugar. And flour. Obviously I needed brown sugar. I looked at my fridge in contemplation. I needed milk, (a half gallon of course). And pretty soon my list started to look like a legitimate grocery list.


I had oatmeal, cereal, pasta, orange juice, tampons and pads, toilet paper, toothpaste, a toothbrush, coffee filters, salt, pepper, basil, thyme, oregano, garlic powder, onion powder, and of course tubs and tuns of ice cream.


"Gina!" I called. She was in the bathroom. "I have a list and I am ready to go." I hopped down from my retro chair and pulled on my Vans. I looked down noticing that while it was definitely sixty-nine degrees in my house and my very short black running shorts that kind of showed the bottom of my ass cheeks was totally fine to walk around in in here, they were not the most appropriate attire to grocery shop in.


Then again, what did I care?


Gina on the other hand still had the fresh-washed look about her. Long shiny hair, a nice blue long sleeve shirt, jeans that were worn just right, and she was slipping on my four inch brown boots.


"You know we are going to the store, right?" It was a fashion show.


"Oh yeah, but I love these shoes." I loved those shoes too. Every time I saw them, it was like love at first sight. My heart went pitter patter looking at them.


"Okie dokie, let's get a move on." We went out to my silver Elentra, hopped in, and headed over to Schnucks.


I didn't follow the list. As I saw if, lists were more like a general, hazy outline that you could follow if you wanted. I wondered the isle picking up things I liked. Gina looked frustratingly at my list.


"That wasn't on the list," she said when I threw in some random item of food I enjoyed eating.


"That's okay," I said, in a complete zen mode.


"We just passed an isle that has this stuff," she added, circling a chunk of my list.


"We can come back, no worries!" I felt like saying, "Hakuna Matata" but was afraid she wouldn't get it right away.


I smiled as I pulled the cart along, grabbing important things like butter and cheese, each their own food group in my head. I looked back and Gina was gone. I shrugged knowing she would find me. I didn't move very fast.


She came back with a bunch of stuff in her arms and deposited the items carefully into the basket.


"You know," she said, "I could get all of these items while you...browse..." I was obviously boring her with my lackadaisical stroll through the grocery store.


I laughed. "Come on," I said, picking up my speed just a little, "Let's go pick out toilet paper." It was the most important part of the shopping list.


I knew I wanted Charmin. It was ultra soft. I looked at the bags, read all the labels, but couldn't quite remember which I liked. So I busted a little hole in the bags and petted the toilet paper. I looked like a crazy lady who probably owned a dozen cats and ate her hair.


Still, I exclaimed loudly to the world, "This! This is the one!" I made my proclamation as a king might, my voice deep and jovial.


Gina laughed at me as I chucked the toilet paper in the cart and we moved onto our other toiletry needs.


And that was when it happened.


We were standing there in the tampon isle, Gina carefully examining the different brands of pads, and me, bouncing on the rungs of the cart in a bored way, when my left foot cramped up.


"AH!" I yelped in surprise. I kicked my shoe off quickly and pulled my toes up.


"What are you doing?" Gina chuckled.


"It's my foot," I cried, bouncing and holding it. "I have a mother fucking charlie horse in my arch!" I whimpered, trying to force my foot to behave.


"Just keep stretching it. It will go away." She picked up another box and compared the two.


I held my foot up and stood in the isle like I was a freaking cheerleader or something. All I needed was a pompom and a megaphone and I could have cheered Gina on. "Go tampons!" I could scream loudly in Schnucks.


I whimpered when Gina had finally made her decision and was ready to move to the next isle.


I straightened my foot out and yelped again like a kicked dog.


"What the fuck!" I barked loudly, pulling my toes up. In the back of my head, I knew my hand probably smelled like foot now.


"Its still cramping?"


"Stupid, shitty ass foot. I should just cut it off!" I growled as I looked around for a knife.


Gina's eyes grew wide when she realized what I was looking for. "Hey, hey, calm down!" She starting unzipping my boots.


"What are you doing?" I was standing in the middle of the tampon isle, hopping around on one foot, cradling my other one, in the shortest shorts I could find, an almost see-through tank top, and Gina was handing me my four inch brown leather boots.


"Put these on. It will keep your toes curled up." I complied, glad I had put my socks that hit at mid calf on.


I looked at myself when we finished switching shoes. Gina still looked like a cute little skater girl, and I looked a model that got lost in a grocery store.


Gina and I laughed. Hard. Like the gut busting laugh that other people heard and joined in on. After tears were starting to wet my eyes, Gina had me pose for a picture.


We made the last of our rounds and went to check out. Gina pulled out her items: a box of pad, tampons, an two things of creamer. She paid for them while I loaded up the conveyor belt with all of my groceries.


The check out guy was cute, and taller than me even in my super tall shoes. He probably thought I looked like an idiot. I flirted with him.


"Wow," I said, smiling and leaning forward just a little bit, "You were very fast." I wasn't lying. By the time I got to the card swiper my total was already up.


"Uh, yeah." He looked at his screen. "Total is one twenty." I nodded as I swiped my card and smiled at him again.


"Thanks so much," I said after he gave me my receipt and Gina and I sashayed away. When we were finally out the door, Gina and I giggled like little school girls.


"He was so cute!" Gina squealed.


"I know!" I loaded the groceries into my trunk. We hopped in the car, my bare legs freezing in the cold wind. I blasted the heat as we drove by the windows slowly. "I know when I am going shopping again!" I cast one last glance at the cute check out boy and we drove home.


We arrived at my studio, and loaded our arms up with all the groceries. We didn't want to make two trips out into the cold. Even though I tottered on my tall heels, we made it in one piece down all the stairs.


I carefully took off my left boot and straightened my foot.


"Success!" I roared in triumph. "No more cramping!" I wiggled my toes at Gina and she smiled. She knew I would not have said a word about my foot hurting if it wasn't horribly painful.


"Next time," I said, "You wear the short shorts."

Half Naked Indian Boys

Where to begin...?

Well, I have officially moved into my studio. Firstly, I didn't use my (electric) stove for a straight week because I was scared to death it would just explode upon first use. Why I believed this as passionately as I did, I cannot explain. But I honest to God thought it would just go up in a plume of angry fiery death.

It didn't. I finally used it to make Gina and me a romantic candlelit dinner consisting of fried pork chops, huge fried wedge potatoes, and carrots smothered in brown sugar and melted butter. (Freaking AMAZING).

Secondly, my mother thinks it is hilarious that one of the first things I discovered in my new place was that the coffee maker, when turned on, will keep your coffee warm because of the hot plate under the glass beaker thing. How or why I would have known this very interesting information before hand, I don't know. Nonetheless, she was highly amused by the awe and wonder that clouded my voice when I told her.

Thirdly, the only thing I had in my pantry for the first week was a gallon of Captain Morgan's Spiced rum. Every night before bed, I would go over to my mom's and secretly steal a bag of Apples and Cinnamon oatmeal, a slice of butter, and some brown sugar. I finally dragged my ass to the store after mom ran out of butter and bought food.

Since moving in, I found out that I can't take a shower longer than nine minutes, I cannot steal internet from my neighbors, and that while everyone in the complex knows me (by name), I am still struggling to remember even a few of theirs. I was invited to a bar-b-que that is happening "sometime in the summer. It's too cold now, ya' hear?"

Gina has been taking good care of my studio. I like to just go home and flop on my bed and not move. I'll watch her, because I often bring her home with me after school. She looks at ease for a short time, then shuffles from one foot to another, and finally she breaks down, gets out the multi-purpose cleaner or vacuum and gets to work.

Now, I wouldn't describe myself as a slob. I do put my dishes in the dish washer, I do wipe down the stove periodically, and I will even go so far as to actually throw away my used kleenexes. For me, that makes my space clean. The scraps of paper that fall out of my notebooks and land on the floor, or my wet towels hanging over my chairs won't bother me in the slightest.

Gina says she doesn't mind. I tend to think she is telling the truth, too. She smiles while she cleans, talks to me, and sings if I play music. I roll around on my bed, rumpling the sheets and making myself look even more disheveled than before while she carefully keeps her hair tied back in a long sleek ponytail and texts my neighbor Marcel, or her other make out buddy Carl.

It's not my fault I like to crush as much shit as I can into my trashcan, or that the bane of my existence is creating clean laundry from dirty clothes. In my perfect world, as soon as I was done with something, it would just be gone. If I needed it again, it would appear in my magic wall compartment like in the book "Uglies."

I think Gina likes the idea of making things look new again. She does it every morning when she takes her shower, picks out her clothes, carefully applies make up, and somehow manages to pull off a look that says, "I may have just rolled out of bed, but you'll never know."

I like to think I could pull that off. But my just woke up face is more like, "Oh...it's okay if you put it on the hanger under the bed."

"What?" The other person might ask.

"I know," I'll say, trying to explain. "If you turn onto the left over by the cat, you'll see it by your door."

And the other person will shake their head, pat my shoulder and leave me to talk in my almost consciousness. Basically, me just rolling out of bed has my hair sticking up in all directions, both dried and wet drool on my face, the make up from the day before smudged all over my eyes, and flailing, flapping arms.

It's not a good look for me.

Back to my main point though. I have been living at the studio for about two weeks, and while my dad has diligently gone out of his way to make little remarks like, "Are you ever going to visit us again?" or "Dash misses you all the time." I have enjoyed living by myself. I can stay up as late as I want; I don't have to be mindful of anyone else's sleep schedule, eating schedule, or potty schedule; I can cook food that I just want. The perks of living in my own place seem relatively endless.

Plus, its all old people that live in the complex so they can't hear me even when I am loud.

For Thanksgiving weekend, even though I am by myself, Mom and I still planned a vacation together. We decided when our Puerto Vallarta plans fell through because of Mexico's political turmoil, to go to Michigan instead.

Mom rented us a "honeymoon penthouse suite" that is literally less than fifty paces from Lake Michigan. I can hear the sound of the lake crashing against the beach as I write, in fact. We arrived last night.

Last night was of course Thanksgiving.

Since I have been telling people where I am going for Thanksgiving, everyone, Gina excluded, asks the same question: Oh, you have family up there?

No, I don't have family in Michigan. My mother and I just decided to take a vacation over the time when we both have off from school and work.

They then ask: What is your family going to do without you?

I tell them: I don't know. Gorge on turkey and pie I suppose. It's not like I eat a lot anyway.

They probably assume I am trying to be funny because they always laugh. It turns into nervous hiccups though when I look at them with my then expressionless brown eyes.

Mom and I arrived at our "honeymoon penthouse suite" at around six thirty. We looked around our place, (what I later dubbed a septagon sex cave because it has seven sides, (which I should have correctly called a heptagon sex cave)), and were a little disappointed. The lights here are not very bright. Which I guess should be romantic...except that I like light.

My hunger couldn't keep us in the heptagon sex cave for long, and mom suggested we go to the casino to eat at the buffet. It was the only place open nearby, and my empty stomach could not refuse.

We drove to the casino and I was delighted to find out that it was an Indian Casino. How ironic, I thought. It was Thanksgiving and we were going to an Indian Casino.

We drove up, had an increasingly difficult time parking and finding the entrance, but then we made it in.

I was not immediately disappointed because I knew they had to keep them somewhere further in. They were supposed to be wearing only tattered loincloths anyways. Mom and I clicked in our smart heels all the way down the hall to the buffet room. I looked around expectantly.

I probably pursed my lips and wrinkled my forehead at this point. Mom was chatting with the cashier though and didn't see it right away.

"How is the weather down there?" The old lady asked. She had a short face.

"Oh, about the same here," Mom answered as she slid her cards back into her wallet.

"When we left, it was about forty-five degrees out," I chimed in, still searching. Mom noticed but didn't say anything until we got sat at a table.

"What on earth are you looking for?" She asked, moving the ketchup, sugars, salt and pepper to the far side of the table.

"Well," I said, beginning my explanation, "It is an Indian Casino. I was hoping there would be lots of hot, half naked, shaggy haired boys in frayed loincloths jumping up and down beating on drums saying, 'oh whoa, whoa, whoa!'"

She sat silently as a smile crossed her face. She barked out a laugh.

"I mean, picture it, Mom!" I began illustrating with my hands. "They would be all tan and handsome, totally ripped, and have hands prints painting on their bodies. Like here," I put a hand on my boob, "Or here," I put a hand on my cheek. "It says, 'touch me here!'" I fell into a fit of giggles, and Mom followed suit.

"I don't think it's that kind of casino." She had finally caught her breath.

"I know," I said with a sigh that I directed upwards towards my bangs, "But wouldn't that be nice?"

We piled food up on our plates and munched on food that was okay. Finally we got up and left the casino that smelled like old people and lacked eye candy. We went back home, I jumped in the hot tub, and then my mother and I proceeded to fall into several fits of giggles when we commented on posts on Facebook directed at each other.

It was probably the coffee that made me so goofy, but I like to think I am just naturally hilarious. Finally Mom told me to shut up and go to sleep. I made myself do just that.

I'm in Love with a Stripper

Well, things are finally coming together. The painting has commenced, and to say the least, I am super excited.


I meant to write this last night, but alas, I was much too tired.


Yesterday, I came home after school and a quick stop at the post office to get stamps and went with Adam to Home Depot. I was still wearing my school clothes which consists of skinny jeans, a long sleeve shirt, and very sexy black boots. I don't think the Home Depot people thought I was the going to be painting.


We started collecting our supplies: tapered paintbrushes, 3/4 inch fluff rollers, tarps, blue masking tape, and finally paint.


I was excited to get the paint mostly. Adam was really into getting things that would keep everything in the studio clean. After my first attempt to get paint was thwarted by a very tall and very wide man, I had to wait patiently to get someone else's attention.


A few more employees made their way to the paint area and I got helped, and Adam and I had to wait while things got mixed. I got bored and started playing on the computer that was supposed to help people pick colors for rooms. I used my color and was more than delighted to see how awesome the computer made it look.


We checked out, everything being just under a hundred dollars. Mom kept saying how it is no big deal in reference to them spending money like that, but I still feel like I owe them something. Money doesn't grow on trees!


When Adam and I got home, we headed straight over to my studio, (it is soooooooo cool saying that!) and started moving all the important things around to the center of the floor, and then began taping everything.


I started working on the base boards but somehow managed to be the person who was taping the ceiling and above the doorways. Considering I don't like ladders in the slightest, I am really unsure as to how I got that job.


When I was close to done with the high stuff and Adam was close to the low stuff, Mom and Alex came over. Mom gave Adam a beer, prompting me to ask where my beer was. She informed me I didn't get a beer because she was buying me pizza. I figured that was a good trade off, considering I don't like beer that much.


Mom ordered pizza, and then picked up the roller. I had to stop and appreciate the color.


Now I know I said I wanted to paint the studio blue, but honestly, the gold-yellow of the kitchen just did not mix well with blue. So I went with this really strong, vibrant green. And I must say, I loved the color.


I was afraid that the color would maybe be to dark, or too green, but it really brightens the room up. I am totally excited to just move in and see this great green color.


I am only doing two walls, leaving the walls against the door and window white. It looks amazing. Plus the closet door is dark wood which goes well with the forest green of the wall.


After I finished the last wall, I took up the roller duties and started painting. Mom started painting all the little detail areas while I covered the walls in my fabulous green color.


Before I finished my wall, Adam painted a symbol on the wall for good energy, so now my studio is going to be full of energy and awesomeness.


I started moving onto the higher parts of the wall, and began singing, "I'm in love with this color!"


Alex and Adam both quipped, "That isn't the tune."


Mom asked, "The tune to what?"


I said, "The song, I'm in love with a stripper."


Alex nodded, adding, "Don't you know that song?"


"No...Do you know that song Adam?"


Adam nodded.


"What the hell? I don't know that song!" We didn't think it was important to tell her that she didn't listen to the radio, so of course she didn't know the song! Sometimes my mom was just plain silly.


I finished one part of the wall just as the pizza arrived, and we all sat down to eat. I happily looked at our handy work. My excitement levels were rising just looking at my new place.


When we were done eating, Adam and Alex decided to head back over to the house, and Mom and I continued painting. It was nice because we were able to talk about a lot of things.


We got the first coat on the walls and started cleaning up. Adam come back over to close up the paint and put the rollers away, and then we were on our way back home. Mom took a lot of pictures of my new place on her phone, which I excitedly told her to post to Facebook.


In retrospect, I think I should have waited for the Facebook pictures. I had a second conversation with my dad, explaining how I was moving out and that the cost was not going to be much more than my car payment, and maybe even less.


Still, I don't think he has told Sharon. And since both of them are my friends on Facebook, the shit might just hit the fan the next time I come home. It's things like this that make me sigh, shake my head, and chew my nails down to stubs.

It's Not Hump Day

I have a beautiful Australian Shepard named Dash that I love to death. Honestly, he has almost no faults. He is smart and happy and is pretty much game for anything.

I mean, sure he isn't a dog to play fetch with.

And you can't let him meet other dogs on a leash; he might bite them.

And he has a problem with dominating other dogs.

But those are little things that don't really bother me. For instance, we don't have tennis balls because he won't drop the ball. We go to the other side of the street when we see another dog coming. And nobody brings their dog over to our house to visit.

That is until I started dog sitting for Tammy.

See, Tammy has a little Boston Terrier named Hank. He is sweet as a button, and is a total lap dog. I love watching him. And usually when I watch Hank, my dad and Sharon are home taking care of Dash.

The problem with this weekend is that Tammy left the same weekend Dad and Sharon left. So I am watching both dogs.

Thinking I am one smart lady, I decide that it will e easier on me and the dogs if we all just hang at my dad's house for the weekend. We have a kennel for Hank during the day while I am gone, and Dash will eventually stop humping poor Hank.

Well I can safely say that Dash discontinuing the humping will not happen anytime soon. Actually, Dash right now is doing on yet another humping frenzy.

The best part about this is that all night my old, creepy dog has been doing this all night long. And I probably wouldn't notice it except his dog tags jangle rather loudly when he is in full hump mode. And better than that, Hank would get up on my bed and snuggle with me, and Dash, unable to control his urges, would start humping the bed. I would be laying there, and all of a sudden my bed started shaking back and forth.

So all night long, I am waking up to yell, "Dash! Stop humping Hank!" "Dash, don't put that in his face!" "Dash! Get your paws off my bed! Stop humping my bed!" "Dash!"

I tried to pull a Caesar Milan by getting up and grabbing him by the scruff of his neck, making him look at me, and going "Ssssss!"

But I decided that made me look like a crazy person, me standing in my doorway with my hump crazed dog only semi obeying me.

I resorted to instead making Hank lay on the far side of the bed and Dash at the foot, keeping my hand curled around his collar. It worked from 4am until about 7:30, but then he just got frisky again.

Poor Hank can't even eat his food without Dash the Creep coming around to hump him.

On the up side, Hank doesn't seem to notice because Dash is considerably larger than him and can't make little Hank stay still. Dash pretty much ends up humping the air more than Hank.

I guess it really just grosses me out. I mean who wants to see their dog just hump the air from 6:30 the previous night until tomorrow?

He is going to have some seriously sore hips after Hank leaves. I'll be surprised if he walks again.

And all while I am trying to make the humping stop, I am also trying to figure out what I am going to take to my new place. I mostly just want to bring a box over today and start packing up my shit here at my dad's house. But the other half of me, the side that is distinctly aware and concerned about other people, is saying I should wait to do it, instead of doing it behind my dad's back.

See, I told my dad I was moving. I told him why I wanted to move, how I was ready for this next step into adulthood.

But he just got this glazed over look and when I finished he preceded to commemorate me on my asking if he thought it was a good idea. Which I didn't ask him at all.

Then he listed all the reasons why it was a good idea to stay at home, and how I needed to save money for college and how he would miss me since my brother had already move down to my mom's house.

I looked at him quizzically, and tried to say, "I wasn't asking..." But of course he cut me off with the bomb shell. "You could live with Sharon and me for forever. We don't mind."

My eyes probably got as large as saucers at the point, but I don't think he notices body language as much as he should, and simply slapped his hands together and said how he needed to go fetch Sharon from the airport.

So while I am fairly certain he didn't understand me, I don't see any reason to go through that conversation a second time.

I just hate the thought of leaving behind his back.

It is quite the dilemma but most things in my life are. I don't go looking for drama; in fact, I try to avoid any drama-like situations. But it seems that no matter what, drama is attracted to me.

Saying Goodbye

So, the ex, Chris, left yesterday to go to boot camp for the Army. In the days before his departure, we hung out together and with other various friends. To say the least, we got into some trouble.


Some of the trouble was in the night before he left. See, the plan was to go to a (supposedly) haunted house. Even the "video evidence" didn't make me a believer that the house was haunted, but I have always considered myself a sceptic anyways. Chris, Gina, Carl, Gage and I all rode in Gage's car over to the haunted house, and Gina and I bounded out of the car and onto the porch, eager to begin the adventure.


The boys hung back, shuffling their feet on the sidewalk. I never thought of myself as fearless, but the procession made it seem like I really was the person who was least afraid of the house. It didn't even feel malevolent.


As the boys finally made it onto the porch, a guy in a white truck came around the corner. Apparently, he was a Rent-a-Cop, and he was hell bent on calling the real police.


Gage tried to reason with the guy, explaining that he used to live in the house, and look! He had the key for the front door.


The dude was not budging. Even after Gage told him who his parental people were, the guy was still disbelieving. "I know the lady," the dude said when Gage told him his mom's name, "but I don't remember you. I would have remembered you!" He then looked at Gage like he was some deformed hairless ape than a human and told us to leave.


With a sigh, we all left and headed over to the gas station. The original plan was to wait for the guy to just leave and walk over to the house, but the jerk had decided to park on the street and stare at us. We ended up shaking our heads and driving off to the park.


Like a group of little kids that were big enough to drive, we made it to the park and started running around and climbing all over things. Because I was cold like usual, I tried to move as much as possible. After I warmed up, I sat on the jungle gym kicking my feet and listened to the others talk.


It seemed like we should be talking about things much grander than that one time that one thing happened, but reminiscing seemed a lot easier than saying goodbye to Chris just yet. Though we had broken up, Chris and I still had a connection that had kept us in contact with each other. It was only in the past month or so we had started to become friends again, and I knew I wasn't ready to just lose that.


The boys, itching to move, went chasing after a stray cat, and Gina and I ended up sitting under a pile of hoodies. We watched the boys for a while, not talking. We have never really needed to talk much, we just knew. That was why we were friends.


The boys got tired for a little bit, and began contemplating the stars. Truthfully, I never liked thinking about the stars. Stars to me simply said I was insignificant compared to everything. So I never liked to look at the stars in quiet silence. Since that was starting to happen, I started to wiggle. Gina suggested we go to the car because we were cold.


The boys started playing again with a ball they had found, and Gina and I made it safely into the car. We didn't have the keys so we couldn't put the heat on or listen to music which made the car boring, but at least the wind wasn't blowing on us.


The boys eventually got bored and headed over to the car. Gina locked the doors, but forgot Gage had the key. It was only a minute before we were all piled in and heading to Walgreens for a quick pee. Like usual, Gina and I took too long for the boys liking and they left us. We didn't really care though and just hung out inside because it was so much warmer and lighter.


When the boys did come back and tease us with the car, we just shrugged and waited for them to become mature again from the safety of the sliding doorway. They eventually parked and let us back in the car. Then we drove down the first big street we came to and didn't stop. Gage was going really fast, and as we passed multiple gas stations, we were disgruntled to the gas prices dropping from 2.99 to 2.92. That seven cents could have made a huge difference!


After about an hour of driving, we made to the end of the road and turned right. We then went way too fast around turns on a black road in the country. I had lived out in an area like that until I was twelve, and was unbothered what seemed to be an abandoned part of the world. The boys seemed genuinely amazed when they realized turning off the headlights cast us into complete darkness.


We eventually made it back to civilization, and turned onto the highway back towards home. Gina and I noticed we were more than just close to the old camp we went to for five summers straight. We laughed out loud at the thought of going back for a visit. It was a nervous laugh.


We were heading back to Chris's place and it set in that for most of us this was the last time we were going to see him. Even singing loudly to songs we all loved couldn't lift the darkened mood.


We made it back into the city and parked in front of Chris's house. Carl asked Chris for his keys so he could go get clothes to spend the night which left Chris without a key to the house. He called Kyra several times, and she eventually let us in the house. We all went to hang out in Chris's room, but Chris mostly was out in the house cleaning things up.


We ended up watching some strange old movie which left me to thinking. I found myself sighing more often than not because my thinking was leading me to be sad. Gina had fallen asleep and I decided that was our queue to leave. It was three thirty in the morning.


I asked Chris to walk out with us so I could give him the rest of his stuff that I had. He should have brought a jacket because he instantly starting complaining about how his nipples were so cold they hurt.


Chris hugged Gage goodbye, then followed me and Gina to my car. I put Gina in the car because she was cold and tired and turned the heat on for her and had Chris follow me to the trunk where I had a few of his things and CD I had made as a gift for him.


Though there were a thousand things I wanted to tell him, I didn't know how, so I just hugged him. It shouldn't have been so hard to say goodbye, but it was. I was losing a friend, and it hurt. He told me that if I started crying that he would have to kick my ass. 


"Sorry," I told him, because I had already started the waterworks. "Sorry I was mad at you for so long." He knew he deserved my anger though over the last eight months though.


"Sorry I am such an idiot," he said. I sniffled.


"I forgive you," I told him in a cracked voice. "That's what the CD is for, you know?"


"Yeah...I made a mistake." I nodded, not really understanding what he meant, and wiped away some more tears and hugged him again then pulsed his arms and hands. It was the only way I could say goodbye. I got in my car and waved him away, keeping my head turned from Gina. I didn't want her to see me acting like a little bitch and crying about a boy.


We went back to her house and crawled into bed. We fell asleep almost instantly.


It was hard when I decided not to go to the airport. I knew I hadn't said goodbye like I had intended, but the thought of driving all the way there just to leave sadder than when I came was not what I wanted. Plus, Chris's girlfriend was supposed to be there, and I didn't want to meet her.


I ended up telling him to write me, and in retrospect I might have been a coward for not going to the airport. It would have been funny to see the look on the girlfriend's face. But in the end, the last thing I want to do is cause problems for Chris in his love life. He has stayed out of mine mostly, other than expressing how much he doesn't like the idea of me being with someone else.


I think in the end it's hard to say goodbye and it is even harder to say goodbye to someone you loved so much. That's just how the cards happened to fall though which can make me sad, but it gives me more experience for the next time. I'll make sure to go to the airport after Christmas.