It's Not Hump Day

I have a beautiful Australian Shepard named Dash that I love to death. Honestly, he has almost no faults. He is smart and happy and is pretty much game for anything.

I mean, sure he isn't a dog to play fetch with.

And you can't let him meet other dogs on a leash; he might bite them.

And he has a problem with dominating other dogs.

But those are little things that don't really bother me. For instance, we don't have tennis balls because he won't drop the ball. We go to the other side of the street when we see another dog coming. And nobody brings their dog over to our house to visit.

That is until I started dog sitting for Tammy.

See, Tammy has a little Boston Terrier named Hank. He is sweet as a button, and is a total lap dog. I love watching him. And usually when I watch Hank, my dad and Sharon are home taking care of Dash.

The problem with this weekend is that Tammy left the same weekend Dad and Sharon left. So I am watching both dogs.

Thinking I am one smart lady, I decide that it will e easier on me and the dogs if we all just hang at my dad's house for the weekend. We have a kennel for Hank during the day while I am gone, and Dash will eventually stop humping poor Hank.

Well I can safely say that Dash discontinuing the humping will not happen anytime soon. Actually, Dash right now is doing on yet another humping frenzy.

The best part about this is that all night my old, creepy dog has been doing this all night long. And I probably wouldn't notice it except his dog tags jangle rather loudly when he is in full hump mode. And better than that, Hank would get up on my bed and snuggle with me, and Dash, unable to control his urges, would start humping the bed. I would be laying there, and all of a sudden my bed started shaking back and forth.

So all night long, I am waking up to yell, "Dash! Stop humping Hank!" "Dash, don't put that in his face!" "Dash! Get your paws off my bed! Stop humping my bed!" "Dash!"

I tried to pull a Caesar Milan by getting up and grabbing him by the scruff of his neck, making him look at me, and going "Ssssss!"

But I decided that made me look like a crazy person, me standing in my doorway with my hump crazed dog only semi obeying me.

I resorted to instead making Hank lay on the far side of the bed and Dash at the foot, keeping my hand curled around his collar. It worked from 4am until about 7:30, but then he just got frisky again.

Poor Hank can't even eat his food without Dash the Creep coming around to hump him.

On the up side, Hank doesn't seem to notice because Dash is considerably larger than him and can't make little Hank stay still. Dash pretty much ends up humping the air more than Hank.

I guess it really just grosses me out. I mean who wants to see their dog just hump the air from 6:30 the previous night until tomorrow?

He is going to have some seriously sore hips after Hank leaves. I'll be surprised if he walks again.

And all while I am trying to make the humping stop, I am also trying to figure out what I am going to take to my new place. I mostly just want to bring a box over today and start packing up my shit here at my dad's house. But the other half of me, the side that is distinctly aware and concerned about other people, is saying I should wait to do it, instead of doing it behind my dad's back.

See, I told my dad I was moving. I told him why I wanted to move, how I was ready for this next step into adulthood.

But he just got this glazed over look and when I finished he preceded to commemorate me on my asking if he thought it was a good idea. Which I didn't ask him at all.

Then he listed all the reasons why it was a good idea to stay at home, and how I needed to save money for college and how he would miss me since my brother had already move down to my mom's house.

I looked at him quizzically, and tried to say, "I wasn't asking..." But of course he cut me off with the bomb shell. "You could live with Sharon and me for forever. We don't mind."

My eyes probably got as large as saucers at the point, but I don't think he notices body language as much as he should, and simply slapped his hands together and said how he needed to go fetch Sharon from the airport.

So while I am fairly certain he didn't understand me, I don't see any reason to go through that conversation a second time.

I just hate the thought of leaving behind his back.

It is quite the dilemma but most things in my life are. I don't go looking for drama; in fact, I try to avoid any drama-like situations. But it seems that no matter what, drama is attracted to me.