Saturday, December 14, 2013

Eric Wants to Eat a Placenta

So, when I met Boyfriend at Beerfest, Ambria also met a boy. His name was Eric. He was a nice enough kid, and other than the buttchin, he was alright to look at, too. After Beerfest, (I am just skipping over that whole drunken night for the moment) I started dating Boyfriend, and Ambria started dating Eric.

(On a completely separate note, Ambria and I have never actually dated people at the same time. We excitedly planned to have a few double dates. I obviously liked Boyfriend, and she seemed smitten with Eric.)

We went to one of Ambria and mine's favorite places first, Mission: Taco. It was fun, and the boys seemed alright hanging out with each other. A few weeks later, we decided to go to another local favorite, Anthonino's.

We sat down for our meal, beers in hand, and started chatting about mundane things. After seriously looking at the menu, Eric said something about the lasagna. He wasn't ordering it, but he said he, "had a funny story."

We ordered our food from the waitress, and then began the beginning of the end for Eric with the Buttchin.

"So have you guys ever thought about eating a placenta?" He begins.

"What?" Ambria and I ask. Ethan sort of just squinted.

"Well I read about this thing where you can eat a placenta. And the recipe I found was for a lasagna. I just always wanted to try it, you know?"

"No..." I deadpanned.

"Well when Dana was having Greyson, I asked, you know? But she said no."

"Did she really?" Ambria asked with more than a touch of sarcasm that seemed lost on Eric.

"Yeah, I guess she didn't think it would be cool, since Greyson isn't mine and all. Sabastian probably could have gotten it, but oh well."

We continued looking at him, not even in mock horror. Just the plain, abject variety.

Later, after dinner was done, (and a hasty topic change), I asked Boyfriend if he wanted to eat a placenta lasagna.

"Oh, god, no."

"Oh, good. I thought I was going to have to break up with you."

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