I've Been Neglectful

I am dearly sorry for how terribly neglectful I have been. Normally I try to blog at least, (at the very least) once a month. But I think I totally skipped April, and have basically skipped May. But I do have good reasons.


In February, on the 15, my cousin Sabstian told me he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. At that point she was three months pregnant, and they had only been dating four months. On top of that, my cousin is only turning 21 in July. Of course, he presented this information to me as a "Look what I did!" Getting girls pregnant is NOT the hard part.


My good friend Carl left for boot camp around the 20 of February, so that kind of bummed me out.


Ex-Boyfriend Chris returned. That was interesting, mostly because the night he returned, Regina's brother Matt and his fiance Kyra had this huge fight. Mostly it was because of Chris's current girlfriend Melissa who was trying to start shit between Matt and Kyra. Melissa had already left because Regina and Matt had gone to pick up Chris from the airport, and that had apparently pissed the little girlfriend off. So instead of trying to figure out where Melissa was, Chris called her a stupid bitch and instead decided to rough house with me.


Regina informed Chris in April that his girlfriend has been cheating on him for a long time now. Basically two days after he left for tech school for the army, Melissa has been cheating on him. I don't know what he expects from a 17 year old high school girl who gets high and drunk every weekend, but I decided to stay out of it. Of course, Chris blamed the fact that people said anything to him on me, so I still got the short end of the stick.


I was failing my Anatomy class almost all semester because the teacher was just not giving us the right information, so I had to really buckle down. I squeaked by with a C, thank God.


My cousin introduced me to one of his friends that is actually pretty interesting. His name is Erik, and honestly, he seems like a nerd. But he is a hiker, like I am, and so we are kind of clicking. Also, he gets my pokemon jokes like Chris never would.


Gina has been testing our friendship recently, asking me to point out all her flaws. I hate doing that, because in the end, if you keep pushing me, I will tell you the truth, even if it hurts. I have come to the conclusion that it's not that she is afraid of loving someone, it's that she is afraid to ever let herself be happy.


Now that school is over, I thought I would be happier. In a sense, I am in bursts. Like today, my little brother and I went kayaking on a lake, and it was ridiculously fun. I enjoyed teaching him different strokes, and being in the sun was good for me. But being alone in my apartment, sometimes I get to thinking too much and it makes me sad.


There are a lot of things I would like to do, you know? I would like for me and Chris to be friends. Before Melissa showed up and basically told him he can't hang out with any girl, we were getting there. There were old wounds that needed patching, but I felt like we were both moving on towards something like friendship.


I would really like to not be mad at my cousin for making a human. Because ultimately I am upset he got his girlfriend pregnant. We aren't going to have the same relationship we always have. We are really close, more like twins than cousins, and now he is deviating from the path we've been taking. It really frustrates me. He is my best, and closest friend, and now he is going to be raising a baby while I am going to college and hopefully studying abroad. It pains me to know that I get to do all of these amazing things and he never will.


I would like for Gina to just be happy. She won't be, especially when she gets turned down by one guy and that ultimately means to her that she should never date again. She frustrates me because rejection is not the final blow in the casket of love. Deciding to never try to love again is what destroys people.


I want to hang out with Erik more, but he is going away on an internship to New Jersey this summer. And while most of me is like, holy crap, that's awesome! Some of me is really bummed because I like that he gets my jokes and is way taller than me. But I don't want to start anything if he is going away, so I think I will just start by making a friendship first.


I did get a new job for the summer as a nanny three days a week, so at least I am going to have a little more money. And Carl is going to be going to a close by college this fall, so maybe I will actually be going to some fun parties instead of staying home on the weekends. 


And I do have a little trip planned for the end of the summer. I am figuring out the details for a 22 mile hike. It will be a backpacking trip, that I hope will be the epitome of awesome. The plan is for me and my friends to go, but considering Chris has me on his shit list, Gina is acting like a crazy person, and I don't want to be stuck hiking with just Matt and Kyra who apparently have REALLY loud sex, it might just be me and Dash. Who knows? My summers have unexpected turns all the time.