Okay, I have this problem. I have been living in Lala Land, otherwise known as the land of cheese, beer, and all fried foods. And I have been living here for probably six years. Now, it hasn't necessarily caught up with me, (I have heard of the freshman fifteen), but still, I am feeling all of that cheese and beer and fried food. I feel it all around my tummy and thighs, to be exact.
See, there was a point in time, (post-break-ups) that I would just drop weight. This had a lot to do with the fact that I would simply stay in bed and watch Grey's Anatomy and listen to Avril Lavigne. But now that I have been officially not seeing anyone since November, I have moved past the break-up-weight-loss, and moved into the I-like-food-and-I-live-by-myself-so-I-can-be-a-pig stage. This basically entailed me buying boxes of my favorite cereal, leaving the boxes in the book shelf, and using the same bowl for a few weeks at a time, whilst watching Grey's Anatomy and listening to Linkin Park.
I then moved into the I-am-going-to-Puerto-Rico stage, and decided I needed to lose some of my "cereal weight." So I stopped eating cereal and went on a wonderful diet I call the yogurt-and-beer diet. It was a wonderful way to lose weight quickly because everything that went in came right out. A quick fix wasn't going to make me feel better overall though.
See, it would be the little things that bothered me, like huffing after three flights of stairs or sweating my face off after a mile of easy strolling. Those things never used to really bother me, but all of a sudden they were. And on top of that, I was feeling more and more lethargic. I hated that. I would sleep for hours and hours and never feel totally rested.
So I decided I had to do something. I asked my mom if she would invest in running shoes for me. I used to run, when I had good shoes, but after I broke them past the point of no return, I stopped running. I wanted to pick it up again. I wanted to feel strong and sweaty and full of endorphins.
She bought me some new shoes, and I broke them in with a vengeance. My current goal of doing a 5k seems very attainable, especially since I have been doing two mile of running and one mile of walking almost every other day.
But the best part is this: I haven't necessarily been losing weight, (and I am not super sure I actually need to) but I am feeling better over all. I wake up and I feel rested and ready. And the best part is that I actually want to run. I want to exercise and feel strong and powerful. And it is incredibly fulfilling.
So, no, I am not going to give up all the food I love like pizza and hamburgers and gyros. I am not going to try to force myself into being model skinny or have a tummy so flat it's concave. I am not going to say, I need to look like her.
I am instead going to say, I feel amazing and healthy and beautiful, and everyone is going to have to deal with it because I can't stop grinning.
I like me the way I am; a fat little kid who wants to feel amazing, not sluggish and squishy. And the past few weeks have made me think that as long as I move the cereal boxes into the kitchen and my running shoes stay nearby, my goal of running a 5k and eating a bucket of hummus is totally within reach.
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