College

I am now a college senior. While feeling elated, (I mean, this is a big step for most people) I am left wondering if I will once again be hit with senioritus. You know, that horrible disease where school doesn't seem to matter. You're going to graduate anyways...right?

I am hoping it won't creep up and strike me like it did in high school.

See, my senior year of high school went something like this:

Wake up, roll over, go back to sleep.

My high school was pretty much hellbent on getting every kid into college. I should amend that statement and point out that they were hellbent on getting a perfect University-bound senior class every year. I was part of a fifty-five student graduating class though, and when I decided to go to community college, I brought down our average. We went from having 100% of kids going to university to only 98%. While to me, and everyone else in the whole freaking world, that seems like an amazing percent, especially for a public school, my councilor was pissed.

In order to graduate, we had to get a signature from every teacher in the school, including the pissed off councilor. But in order to get her signature, you had to apply to a university. Of course, I had made my decision to go to community college already. I wasn't going to waste money on an application to a school I had no intention of attending. I was looking at a six thousand dollar difference a year by picking the community college. Not to mention that I wouldn't be paying rent, or for food.

So I went into my councilor's office and sat down. She asked me where I had been applying to. What universities had already accepted me? How many were out of state? What scholarships was I being offered? I rubbed my hands on my scruffy jeans, knowing she would be mad.

"I'm not going to a university. I am going to the community college." It was still college after all. Plus, she didn't know anything about having to actually be responsible for paying your own way for school or anything. Everyone knew about her filthy rich husband.

"Well, you really need to apply other places to see if you can get in." I could get in most state schools. I had a very low B average and scored a 26 on my ACT that I had forgotten I was supposed to take that day. It's not like I was dumb. I just wasn't ready for going away to college, the big university life, etc. I had been scared out going to a big university when I visited Indiana State University with my camp a few years back. I remembered feeling completely overwhelmed by the size of the campus, panicking when I got lost in a construction area and walking down a busy street at night. I wanted the safety of my city, my family, and my friends.

"I don't have the money to go to college." It was partially true. My dad and Sharon had agreed to help me if I wanted. But I honestly didn't want. With my financial aid, I was going to be able to pay for my schooling on my own for at least two years and not have to take out a loan on it.

"None sense, you can get loans." I was getting frustrated at that point.

"I don't have to. I can pay for my schooling at the community college with just financial aid alone."

"Well, looks like you won't be graduating then. I won't sign your paper until you prove that you applied to a real school." She had crossed her arms that time. She had made her way onto a list of people that I only reserved for people I really, really disliked.

I was so mad at my councilor. She bullied her way into my life that day. I was going to walk across that stage and get my fake diploma one way or another, and thirty dollars for an application seemed like a paltry sum compared to the twelve thousand plus I would save at the community college.

I never regretted going to the community college. I was accepted at the university I applied to, but I didn't go until just this last semester. Weirdly enough, except for the difference in what I pay for credit hours, ($88 versus $256) it is basically the same school. The teachers are similar, the classes are similar, even the kids are similar. I even know some people that go to the university because they went to the community college.

I just wish I had my thirty dollars back.