Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Eggs Are BAD

When I had gone out to visit my grandma, she gave me a box of chocolate cake from her stash of about five cake boxes. First of all, she and grandpa are diabetic. They don't need cake. Secondly, they don't remember birthdays for anyone. Why do they have cake?

Anyways, mom decided that because my little brother Alex is having a birthday tomorrow, that I should make the cake. While I usually don't mind making cake, (it means I get to eat copious amounts of chocolate batter,) Alex has been especially annoying. He doesn't deserve the wonderful cake I can bake.

While debating making the cake in question, I thought about cleaning my room. Maybe organizing stuff that I'll be moving with me into the studio. Instead, I made myself some cereal and watched MTV. I may not be cut out for the whole planning things in advance that other people seem perfectly capable of doing.

I finally dredged my lazy ass off the couch and set to the cake baking. After literally twenty minutes of looking for the red box, and me thinking It's a red box, it should be noticeable! I found it in the pantry next to three other red boxes of similar sizes. Except they were rice.

Scowling, I also grabbed the vegetable oil then pulled out the carton of eggs.

To my utter disbelief, and horror, I read the expiration date on the eggs.

In nice, blue computer like script, it read:
SELL BY MAY 10 2011
EXP BY MAY 17 2011

As most people can imagine, I threw the eggs in the trash.

After pulling the new carton out, (EXP BY AUG 18 2011) I made another realization.

Those were the same eggs mom had not only made french toast with, but a huge bowl of scrambled eggs.

It was only after I did a thorough assessment of the previous week did I decide that I probably wasn't going to die of Toxic Eggy Death Syndrome.

So I might be making up the whole TEDS, but honestly, who keeps eggs in the fridge that expired mid May, until August? I really am starting to worry about the habits of our food keeping. Plus, I am not the best at cleaning. I can't keep my room tidy; how will I keep a fridge clean? I might leave something in there for months, and then BAM! They find me dead the next day.

It could happen.

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