The Day We Adpoted Silas

On November first, Ethan and I met our dog. He was brought to us by his foster mom, a wonderful lady who obviously loves Silas very much, but her and her husband weren't ready to take on a third dog.

But let me back up and explain how we found my little guy.

Ethan and I knew we wanted a dog. We had talked about it a few months after we had started dating, where is started with little comments like, "I miss having a dog around," and "When Ambria and I move somewhere we can get a dog... mark my words," (this one was usually followed with a hearty fist shaking at the roof of the apartment where dogs were not allowed).

And then one day it was something more like, "When we get a dog..." in reference to Ethan and I co-parenting a little fur ball. And I knew he was committed. At this point in time we still had exchanged the "I love yous" but we were well on our way. Because even when we weren't saying it, it was the little things that said it for us.

So we planned this move to the house my mom and Adam rent, and I knew that not only was our desire for a dog something that we wanted, but we were in a neighborhood where if your neighbors know you have a dog, that's pretty much a good thing. (It's not a bad neighborhood by any means, it is just good when you live in the city to be like, HEY, DON'T BREAK IN HERE: BIG DOG.)

Naturally, I had already sort of looked on the internet at the Petsmart Charities link where you can look for adoptable pets in your area. I had a few criteria, of course. We had both discussed wanting a big dog, under a year old, and a mild temperament. (This last stipulation was my own. Ethan is a wonderful everything, but if he was a wolf in a wolf pack, he would be one of the submissive ones that helps all the other wolves not act like totally crazy psycho alpha males. I have seen first hand his asshole of a dog, who is a very sweet but domineering Labrador totally push his entire family around because he is so dominate.)

Lo and behold, I had found a few candidates. I had to scrub a few off my list. One was an adorable little black and white puppy that was a mastiff mix named Kong that I knew would be too big for Ambria to handle if she was by herself. Another was a sweet looking little blue dog, and that was because Ethan wanted a boy dog. I found a ten week old Newfoundland mix that I was a little crazy for, (Newfies are are dog I would just love to have) but I am not totally sure what all Ambria is allergic to, so I nixed him too.

Finally, I found Silas and Pita. Two brothers that were rescued from the basement of a drug dealers home, apparently forgotten long enough for them to be starved down to just bones.

Silas, when he was found was barely twenty pounds, and that was because he was just a big sized dog, not because he had ever eaten much of anything. He had a scar on his head and flank, and all over his legs. This leg Animal Control and the adoption agency that eventually procured him to believe that he had been a bait dog for dog fights.

Pita was his brother, and I can only assume that he was in a similar condition.

So I had found these two little brother with these sweet, soft faces, and I knew in my heart I wanted Silas, but I took pictures of both boys and sent them to Ethan. I was going to let him have the final decision because we are a team.

He texted me back saying that while Pita was obviously cute, he felt more kinship with little Silas. So I filed an application form and waited what seemed like forever to see if they would pick us to go through the adoption process for Silas.

Eventually I got a call from his foster mom and we talked for a good forty-five minutes. She thought we were a really good match for Silas, and we set up a week-long trial where we would take care of Silas, see how he fit in our family, and then give a final decision.

This is our first day. He is literally now like a third bigger. It is amazing how much he has grown.

Of course, I texted his foster mom back like two days later and told her she could put the paperwork through whenever. We loved this little guy. He was sweet, happy, and afraid of stairs.

He very solidly came into our family and our hearts like a little furry cannon ball.

 

This was the night we got him when we were teaching him to sit on command. He is just so handsome.

 This the first few days of having him. Ethan was tired from doing something, but Silas was still bright-eyed and bushy tailed.

 A few hours later though, he was asleep. This is his normal sleeping position.

 

This is basically four days after getting him, when he was like, "Sleeping on the couch is ah-maze-in'."

 We took him on his first hike before it was too cold, (and before the broken leg.).

 He was really hard to photograph on this bench. Whenever the camera wasn't on him he was wagging his tail. But every picture pretty much looks like he is trying to escape.

 Like this one, where his is actually really happy to be sitting with his papa, but looks terrified. They are still cute though.

It's Silly to Have Called My Absence a Hiatus

I haven't been on a hiatus. And I mean that in the sense that I didn't say to myself, "Gosh, I really have nothing to blog about, lets keep the readers waiting! Something grand should be happening soon!"

In actuality, I have been doing exactly what my blog was initially about: moving. I moved from the apartment Ambria and I shared and into a house with her and my boyfriend. If that isn't moving up, I don't know what is! But along with the move, I guess I have been ridiculously stressed out. And I guess that comes with the territory of moving in with someone knew, and everyone sort of relearning schedules and working around each other and also with each other.

I have also been having a crazy work schedule which really doesn't help establish good patterns for making a Home Life work. It's been an adjustment, especially when figuring out things like bills, and adjusting what should and should not be my income I use for silly things, like bras or video games.

And honestly I think with the extra hiccups along the way, (there are so many more fucking dishes...) its hard to establish what I wanted from mine and Ethan's relationship, along with reestablishing that my relationship with Ambria is incredibly important to me. And then also setting up the line of communication between all the sets of parents, (mine, Ethan's and Ambria's). I feel like relationships, and maintaining them as strongly as they were before moving out, or moving away, or just changing location is really hard. You have to put in constant effort to make sure that everyone knows they are loved and cared for.

And then there is the balancing act of saying to your partner, "Hey! I need more from you!"

Something that was really stressing me out, and what was making me crazy angry without me even realizing, was that Ethan wasn't doing what I had expected from him. During the weekdays we only have a small window of time where we got to see each other. I would basically be walking out the door when he was coming home from work. And what I expected from him is to come over and sit with me, tell me about his day, give me a hug and a kiss.

Instead he was running upstairs to get his computer going so he could play some variety of online game, (World of Warcraft or Counterstrike or Dark Souls II). And don't read to far into this; I don't mind that he is a gamer. I game too!

It just got to the point where I was really frustrated that he wasn't meeting my need for affection and human contact, and yes this is the same girl who lived in a studio by herself for over a year. I eventually had to have a talk with him, which I am sure he thought was some sort of break up talk. (I guess the rule of never saying, "We need to talk!" should have been applied to this situation. And when I phrased it in a way that he thought it implied that I needed him to "prove" he loved me, I had to take a step back and really make it known how I felt.

"I want you to just come home and for that half hour before I leave for you and you've just gotten home, I want to just live in a little bubble of you and me." He finally understood that he was taking time away from Us to simply satisfy his boredom. And after talking about it, it got better. I appreciated that in a way that I can't even begin to put to words. Listening to someone, and then making an effort to change how you do something is a great form of love when you want to make them happy.

I guess the heart of the reason for me having not written though is based solely on the fact that I have been just stressed enough to not be able to put to words everything in my life. Ethan and I adopted a dog, (he is wonderful, and there will be pictures soon), I figured out what I am going to do with my life, (medical technology) I became basically the sole person who can do everything at my job which basically means I not only the person who has to come in everyday, but I am the teacher of all the procedures, and basically on call on the weekends.

And at least the whole "figuring out my life" bit takes away a small amount of stress, the whole "getting my degree," thing is a brand knew stressor. Especially when I am going to have to take out loans and such, (until recently I wasn't even sure how loans worked!).

Ultimately, I have just been feeling a little overwhelmed by the task that is Life, and that has always taken a tole on my writing. I feel sometime that in order to be Me I need to be happy, bubbly, or carefree, and what I am feeling on the inside is more or less constant thinking and analyzing and being retrospective, especially about myself. And that also makes it hard for me to write because I like to write in a carefree happy manner.

I just don't like to be a Debby Downer! (Sigh. I feel like I am though, who wants to readabout stress, or at least someone else being stressed, when basically the whole world is stressed?)

I do have some actual real things planned to write about though in the future. One is even a three parter! So do please stay tuned. I am going to at the very least have something written on Saturday, mostly because I think that will be the day that there is good news, (with a long explanation before hand of all the bad that has happened).

There is also going to be a story about how my dog broke his leg, which is basically a sad story but it taught me about loans! So that is cool/twisted. And spoiler, he is actually all better which is a relief since I love taking him hiking and walking and running and swimming.