Puppies v. Babies

I went to visit my cousin last week and to actually see the tiny human he created. I will say that I have baby sat a lot of babies, but they are usually a few months older than a fresh two week old baby. So I was disappointed when Greyson basically bored me to tears.

Now, I say he bored me to tears, and it is a bit of an exaggeration. My eye problems are still persisting, and thus I can not actually cry because they are so dry. That being said, I had no idea how boring babies could actually be. I mean, he seriously just sat there in his baby house not doing anything.

He fell asleep.

He woke up.

He cried.

He got fed.

He went back to sleep.

Honestly, I wonder how babies make it past baby-dom. I mean, they are so incredibly boring. You can't do anything with a baby that age. They have to be held a certain way, fed a certain amount, changed almost every hour...

I have concluded that puppies are in fact WAY cooler than babies. Not only are they relatively self sufficient, (they play with their own paws, lick their own butts, and can walk around), they are way more amusing. Honestly, if a puppy falls of the couch, people laugh. But if your baby falls off a couch, you are gonna have to talk to Child Protective Services. 

Pro: Puppies are way less breakable.

Puppies can eat practically anything. Shoes, hats, pillowcases, dog food, cat food, hamster food. Babies have a very specific diet. Milk or formula for a long-ass time, and then maybe mushy foods, then maybe not so mushy foods, and then maybe even less mushy foods... you get my point.

Pro: Puppies don't need mushy food.

You don't have to change a puppies diaper. You just put him outside, he goes potty, then you can rough house with him. You can't put a baby outside, then play tug with him. That is a BIG no-no.

Pro: Puppies are way more fun.

My final point, (for the discussion as such) is that you don't have to buy little clothes for a puppy. Babies need loads of clothes, that have a tendency to ruin at any given moment. Babies can suddenly explode with poop for no reason other than he just decides to poop as much as he possibly can, even if his diaper can't contain such an explosion. Puppies don't need clothes! They are covered in soft, fluffy fur that is totally washable. You can't go hose your baby off with a hose in the backyard, but puppies are free game. Played in the mud? Hose. Rolled in a dead thing? Hose. Pooped all over your cage, ate said poop, then vomited all over yourself? HOSE!

Pro: Puppies are easy to clean.

In conclusion, in the Puppy vs. Baby debate, puppies clearly win. So for anyone out there thinking they want a baby to play with, the obvious choice is to get a puppy instead. Babies are no fun, have a self-destruct button on their heads, can't play tug, and have no use for hoses.

Honestly, was there even a chance babies would win anyways?